Day 2 Tuesday

Woke at 6am, feeling refreshed!
washed my face, dressed, made coffee
meditated for 15 minutes until i was interrupted abruptly...
made Annika's lunch and packed her school bag
Prepared breakfast
received Tyler
Drank coffee and talked with David about his work
braided Ani's hair and got her to the busstop
Lex woke up, made him a drink and put on a movie, "Alvin"
Started my list for today
checked emails and facebook
changed Scentsy event
adjusted a prior Blog
hung out with kids, helped with homework
made tuna
made mac & cheese
fed kids and David
ate some
rested on couch...feeling very ill
watched "Big Bang Theory season 4 Disc one entirely
tucked kids in bed
showered
went on the internet...kids still not asleep and it's close to ten.
Want to refresh my memory about my horoscope
having a funny tete a tete with a friend of a friend on facebook
summarizing my emotions..feeling partly nostalgic and partly disgusted with people.
need to brush hair and then off to bed

review messages on meetup.com
created a note about Harry Chapin on facebook
Did Preschool activities at the table (3 pages each)
wrapped 6 Christmas gifts
organized Surprise Bday party materials
arranged to pick up bday party favors
called Grammi, found out what Auntie Joy wants for her birthday, got invite to sunday 2pm party
found out Auntie Faith is sick, wrote her a card and mailed it
stamped and labeled invites to christmas, put then out in mail
raked sandbox
cut potatos and made french fries for Ty and Lex lunch (with nuggets)
helped boys wash hands
picked up toys all around the living room, blocks, tracks and cars
we ate lunch together, then I cleaned all the dishes and the oven
I prepared Lex' chocolate milk
Tyler helped clean up porch
Lex and Ty listened while I read them three books
then went upstairs to play v smile and go for a nap
adjusted cba blog
created personal photo gifts, then wrapped and labeled them
wrapped all christmas presents.
shopped online
created menu, shopping list and budget for and family celebration
created menu, shoppling list and budget for Christmas Eve family time
cleaned up xmas wrapping
ate a sandwich
served the boys pretzels for a snack
checked the mail
returned an email message

Day 1 Monday

The challenge?  write down everything you did today...each day for 7 days.  The benefit?  Realize how much you accomplish.

I woke at 6 am...2 alarms clocks (BAH)
Washed my face, dressed and put on makeup while my son called me to go get him a chocolate milk.
Son came downstairs so i attended to him...drink, potty, movie.
I made coffee, packed Annika a lunch, set her bag by the door
Received daycare client, Tyler...fed him cereal for breakfast
Woke Annika, fed her cereal for breakfast
Got Annika on bus, saw David off to work.
Talked to Jessica for 1.5 hours because we needed to catch up
cleaned the downstairs toilet, sink and floor while on the phone with her
broke up a few fights the boys were having over toys on the porch
served a snack on the porch while the boys played
put on a movie for Tyler (Spy Kids)
made and served lunch.  Sat with the boys while they ate.
Brought the boys upstairs to play vsmile.  Showed Tyler how to choose directions...was impressed that Alex had mastered one of his activities in the Dora game.
While they were engaged, I made all the beds and folded Ani's clothes.
I cleaned the toilet and sink upstairs
emptied the bathroom trash
picked up all the blocks, trains, tracks and cars on the porch
showed Tyler all our Christmas tree ornaments, listened to him describe the ones he liked.  Showed him his gift under the tree
posted a FB status update
put boys for nap
called Verizon...was on hold 15 minutes, then transferred to hold another 15 minutes, but got my questions answered.
While holding, I checked email...responded to Mr. Hornstein ALAP about Annika
went on Tripadvisor and wrote 15 reviews including photos
checked the MM blog and then sent an email to MM supervisor requesting assignments
checked horoscope
checked mail, sorted it and read some.
checked bank account
fed bread to birds
read one chapter of "Your Invisible Power"
folded blankets in living room, vacuumed the rug in LR and kitchen
washed the breakfast and lunch dishes
reviewed Blog stats for Wondrous and Annika's Bliss...updated a photo of Annika and Mrs. Boyd.
warmed a cup of coffee.
STARTED THIS LIST (1:50pm)
2pm, Cousin Danielle Arrived, chatted about Xmas gifts, gave her two snacks, said good bye to Ty
Lex watched the other half of Spy Kids while I sipped my coffee.
sigh
then the kids came from school...I was on the phone offerring encouragement to a friend which also lead to me agreeing to take on her two little ones two days a week...
then I assessed homework, sent the kids to get rocks
washed more dishes
 received feedback on my blog writing for MM
swept back porch, repurposed an old toy box to store our wood so it can stay dry for burning in the winter
then swept front porch, rolled some rugs and repurposed them inside.
took out xmas tree, swept and layed in rug and replaced tree
received a shipment of nuts LOL
fed the kids a snack
took laptop and went outside with Lex and Ani and Nic
*realized I am hungry and then was glad I took some chicken tenderloin out of the freezer earlier and oh ya...I also organized the canned goods in the black cabinet while I was talking to Jess earlier, which reminded me that I am making rice and beans and chicken for dinner.
I was going to rake the pine needles and sweep the wood deck in the yard but instead I recruited to Nic to rake and Lex to sweep...So proud of myself!
Got sister Jessica to assist with planning Annika's surprise bday party
when David came in, so did the kids so I got them settled to homework, washed more dishes and prepared dinner...assisted Annika with homework
Reviewed mail with David
threw out old food from refrigerator and brought recyclables out to bins.
checked my delivery schedules for Amazon and Target, accounting for what came out of the bank...trying to plan my evenings errands after meal..
kicking back waiting for Melissa to pick up Nic.
brought David a dish of rice and beans, toasted garlic bread, corn and chicken parm
I took Annika out shopping, came home...had an hour long talk with Annika about popularity and about how to deal with people's negativity toward her Acting career.
Then Rhyanned called and we talked about Christmas shopping while we both watched Shrek the Halls.
I made the kids brush their teeth and then tucked them in
Browsed avon online
sent an email to Mrs. Boyd to ask permission for Annika to bring a movie to school for her birthday
read one chapter of "Think and Grow Rich", by Napoleon Hill

finished this list...going to go pee and hit the sack.  11 now...I like to be asleep by 11!  we know what happens at 6am!

~namaste~

Rhode Island's South County



URI Quad in Autumn

I spent 5 years of my life living in South County RI.  To anyone from outside of the RI area, it may seem odd that I refer to it as "South County" rather than to name the particular city or town where I resided.  You see, I moved into my dorm room in June, 1992 at age 17.  I was dropped off and forgotten, it seemed.  But through the sadness, a new life emerged for me.  This would be 5 years of self-discovery, faith, passion, music, learning, and yes even more pain.  But Einstien theorized that time doesn't exist in a linnear way as we believe it does, and that all the things that happen to us happen at once.  If this is true, there are many interesting implications.  Suffice it to say, for the sake of my article, that I simply point this out to say that although this was a long time ago and I no longer live there, the love for the places I have been lives on.  I took great pride in being a URI student, but it was much more than just the student life or URI campus that forever changed me while I lived in South County.

I was rasied in the country...in rural Foster RI.  In my junior year of High School I was abruptly moved to Warwick and I finished out my remaining high school years there, departing as quickly after graduation as possible and moving to URI campus a few short weeks after graduation day.  I stayed living in South County for 5 years and would have continued living there if not for certain (forceful) influences affecting me.  I loved the serene landscape of both country living and ocean living.  Today, I live in Warwick, very much by the ocean.  It is nice.  But to this day, nothing compares to her...to my South County.  To Wickford with it's quaint shopping village and Charlestown with it's majestic forests and beaches, to my favorite night-club/hot spot, The Ocean Mist...I just love South County RI.

 The view from the deck at Ocean Mist, day or night is a most desirable place.  I had many a spectacular evening here.  Some were romantic, some with friends, most while following a band or hearing a band or even while performing with one.  The spot has private beach access...small, no one bothers you...people are nice...the air feels great.

Almost everyone can recognize this Icon in RI.  I can still remember one of the last days I ever spent with my brother was here.  We took my stepdaughters to Narragansett beach and then we toured the Coast Guard House Towers and the Narragansett Town Square.  Of course, I had already examined this entire area pretty thoroughly.  Surprisingly, there were still new things we discovered on that day!

While I was living at URI, I was forced out in the Summers and so I travelled like a homeless bum from one home to another and stayed as a visitor.  I learned a lot from these experiences.  I began to figure out how to add value wherever I stayed and try not to be a taker.  I am afraid that because of my age, I was probably more of a taker, but now I see the error of my ways.  I am very patient with younger people...especially when they are making those type of blunders.  There will come a moment in their lives when it clicks and they understand how they should behave.  But it is good to be young and carefree!  I used to spend LONG hours just hiking in the woods beyond where presently The Ryan Center is.  At that time it was undisturbed woods and paths.  I would probably be terrified of hiking there alone nowadays, but back then I loved it!  I also loved to spend long hours in prayer out in the gardens at URI.  There was one night I remember in particular was a very hard night for me and I stayed there all night until the sun came up.  Then there was the cherry blossom tree I used to sit in...it was near the science buildings.  When I was feeling extra bold, I would go with a friend to the roof of one of the old Buildings...I think it was the Roosevelt Building.  I have also sat up on the roof at the Fine Arts Center.  In later years, I would find solace at the football stadium...running the bleachers or just sitting on them.

I never used to take pictures, so I only have the image from my minds eye and the few old photos stashed somewhere that I kept.  But it was beautiful.  I love to be surrounded by nature.  South County provided the best of both worlds for me because I loved the woods, the fields, the farms, the community and even the ocean!  I fell in love quickly with the seasonal travellers and the sounds of silence on the URI campus in summer, followed by the chaos and bustle of the regular school year.  I would love to be a student again.  I have fond memories of people and buildings and classes and meals and celebrations!

Another fond memory for me is the Dahlias.  There is a Dahlia farm in South Kingstown or Kingston somewhere...and I forget now but it was lovely!  I used to dedicate as much time as I could spare to helping over there.  I remember one year giving all my relatived potted dahlias, for no reason at all. 

Kiedis

Whenever I am lonely or hurting or have no inspiration or words.  for whatever reason, because sometimes lonely is just there...even when there are plenty of smiling faces.  But sometimes, lonely is just there.  And lonely requires a cure.  The lonely must lift themselves...elevate.  And so I must frequently see I am there and go to my place where I derive the inspiration to continue.  When I am lonely, I turn to Kiedis and I am guided back.  The answer to all things is in the words, always.  One phrase, turns me to another, turns me to a thought and leads me to my prayer and creates an idea and becomes a vision which gains energy and movement and then is action.  So when I have nothing to act upon, I return to Kiedis.  Kiedis is my beginning.  What is yours?

Taking time for Thanksgiving

This week I feel like I have been pushing and pushing and pushing (and pushY!).  I have been knocking on doors with no answer and calling numbers with no pickup.  I keep asking questions but getting no answer.  I am waiting for news that eludes me.  I will blame this all on the current Mercury Retrograde affecting our solar system.  My Leo astrology for mid November through December until the week of Christmas suggests that I just lay low and allow time to catch up.  I know in my heart that things will pick up speed soon.  I should never feel the need to push anything.  In fact, I ought to consider it a blessing that I have more free time to write, more creative (non-paying) tasks to occupy me and more people needing a volunteer hand.  Here I am!  Choose me.  I always dislike when I am overlooked, so maybe it is time to spend a bit of my mental strength on others in need.  Plenty of volunteers are needed everywhere right now.It's time I give and give and give.

THANKSGIVING, the act of giving thanks, not the meal...is a spiritual period.  It should happen often...like daily.  But if it is only once a year, it should be embraced.  I am extremely grateful for the wonderful and blessed year 2011 has been to me personally.  My life has literally transformed since January 2011, transformed.  I am nowhere near the same person I was then and I am no where near doing the things I was doing a year ago. My life has expanded and I feel closer then ever to my dreams and personal goals.  I can see them coming to fruition...in the distance.  I am not there yet.  Hence today's frustration...why am I not there yet?????  I suppose it may be because without gratitude in my heart and without giving of myself I cannot get there.  I cannot receive until I give.  So what shall I give?  I have so little materially speaking.  I do hope for better times to come (soon) monetarily.  I want to use my money to serve my greater purpose in life.

Thanksgiving, giving thanks.  I feel gratitude for the kids, and my (Salgado) family.
 I am thankful that the Universe has created a gap, an opening and a slight emptiness and yearning within me.  If there was no space, no yearning...what would urge me to keep moving forward?  We fill ourselves with light so that we can shine on others, but then eventually it fades.  This is when we must return to be filled again.  I return each day to my meditation and my Source of light.  I offer first my gratitude and then I ask my Source of Light," Please fill me, please help me because I am weak in my flesh and cannot do the work".  It needs to be The Light in me that does the work.  If it is not from The Light, and I only rely on what my hands can build and what my ears can hear and what my eyes can see, then it will be built...but it will not last.  I have not travelled this path to achieve failure, no.  I have come to achieve great things, and I will achieve them.

Today is a nice day.  But I do not rely on nice to carry me.  It is not enough and will never be enough.  I rely on The Light, to inspire and share divine knowledge and inspiration.  I want to inspire others to use their talents, their strength...to make this a better WORLD. 
If my daughter becomes a famous actor, I expect her to use her fame to help those in need...and not as some side hobby but as her mission and her passion.  She cannot seek to succeed for herself alone.  If I become a published writer and people look to me for inspiration in the written word, I want to use that gift and that ability to change people's lives!  If I sing (and I can), then I want it to be music that inspires people to create, rather than songs that glorify just me or my singing ability.  If I parent my kids, it will always be in a way that leads them to greater self-discovery and knowledge of the world and the Spiritual world and what they must know to live.

So I will spend this weekend of Thanksgiving with the people I adore, and I will allow the pause that I am currently experiencing from many of my creative endeavors, and I will not for one moment feel discouraged, not one.  I will shine.  I wish all of my readers the most pleasant holiday too!

~Namaste~

My new Muse, Audrey McClelland

Over the past few weeks, a phrase has come up repeatedly in my life. 

"When the Student is ready, the Teacher will Appear"

The reason I love this expression is that 5 years ago I would have had NO CLUE what this meant, and I would have had no capacity to have understood it.  If that makes you laugh, perhaps a little bit at yourself too..then consider the fact that our life timeline is a comedy of errors!  Mistakes I made in my twenties, as I look back on them now, I cannot imagine having not known then what I know now! And when it comes to my two children, aged 10 and 3...there are many moments I find myself repeating a mantra in my head that basically says, "remember their age".

Recently, alongside some college friends of mine, I co-created a Social Group here in Rhode Island.  we call this Group "Conceive, Believe, Achieve!" or CBA for short.  It was the "thought" that sprouted to the thing...and therein produced the teachers!  I was delighted when my friend Sam Lemay first suggested that we attempt to find out if there was any interest in such a group by using the website called (meetup.com).  We did just that, and on the first day there were 25 members!  Our first physical meeting happened a month later in Warwick RI and it had 20 guests!  Our goal is to revolutionize the course of common life by empowering others to conceive of wonderful goals and then go out into their communities in the true spirit of giving and living and achieve great things (for themselves and others).  I am proud to be a part of this group and to write their blog.  You can follow and join at:

www.meetup.com/cbagroup

and read our blog at:

www.cbagroup.blogspot.com

So how does CBA Group connect to my new muse, Audrey McClelland?  I am glad you care to know and I am glad to share it.  I love synergy...synergism...synchronicity and symbiosis.  All of these and the Law of Attraction are working in my life right now.  I feel ready for full expansion.  I want this blog that I am writing today to be read by people all over the world.  I would like it to be the inspiration for others to make their mark.  Being an individual is a quality most of us cherish.  I no longer do.  To me, being an individual is a way of separating ourselves from our friends, family and community and I no longer want to separate.  I want to connect...in greater ways then ever before.

At our first meeting of CBA, I had a conversation with an acquaintence I have known for many years, Armand Albuquerque.  As I explained my vision for the future of my business (I am an entrepreneur), he remarked that it sounded like I want to "Brand" myself.  He was right, that was precisely what I want to do!  I do not want to brand myself for the sake of being so in love with myself that everyone needs to know me.  I want to Brand myself because this is the way to a full and complete life and there are many opportunities to make the Right impact and really empower others.  If along the way I am able to earn what I need to support my family too, then I have achieved the highest I can ask of my goal and I will not want for more!

Following this discussion, I began to work on this "brand" idea.  I regularly meditate as it is, and each day I go through an exercise of visualizing where I want to live, because a move to a new home is imminent in my lifetime.  I now am working on visualizing what my brand would be...what is my life about?  What are my talents, interests and favorite business pursuits and how can I assimilate all these into one place like a website?  How do I circulate my website or promote it?  How do I earn money with it?  How do I inspire people with it?  What can I use my writing for?  What is the right format?  I have many questions that need answers...as you can see.  But as we discussed in the introduction to my blog today, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear".

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself discussing my vision with another college friend, Alberta Lemay (Sam's wife and co-founder of CBA).  She is an extraordinary woman who has no idea how much I admire her.  Years ago, when we were college students, we did all the fun stuff together.  Today, she is a successful hospice nurse, mother of two and a business woman with great vision!  It was more refreshing then a cold lemonade on a hot August afternoon talking with her yesterday!  She shared ideas that I had thought of and it occurred to me that I was not alone in my thoughts or beliefs about HOW people should live and WHAT they should create.  Berta offered me something others had never done...woman to woman inspiration!  I now have a vision for she and I to go forward and inspire women in all walks of life to believe in their dreams!

Finding friendships like the ones I have with Berta and with Sam and with our fourth founder, Bob Coderre, is both surprising and empowering.  But to go further, my daily visualizations, meditations and new career direction have given me something new...a MUSE.  A real-life, already accomplished, mentor to learn from.  This morning, in the Saturday edition of The Providence Journal newspaper (free copies are thrown on my lawn once a week), I found an article about a woman who both impressed and inspired me, showing me how what I want to do can be done!  At first I felt a twinge of jealousy because she is already established and successful at this, but as is true of every business model, if it works-it can be reproduced!  I realized then and there that with imagination, confidence, knowledge and a Certain Plan ( a very specific vision), I will be able to accomplish the same thing she has.  This person is Audrey McClelland and she has created her Brand.  Audrey McClelland has a home-based Blog/Website business that creates income to support her family, and frankly, her family are the FOCUS of her Blog and ultimately contribute to its success.  This is my exact vision and dream for my life...to do what she has done.

I encourage everyone to check out Audrey's link below:

www.momgenerations.com

and I would like to express my gratitude that her story was told.  The article was written by Jenna Peletier of the Providence Journal.  I could not have asked for a better Saturday, and I now plan to become a regular subscriber to The Providence Journal.  I would be sad to see publications like newspapers lose their circulation to "All web" news in general.

I hope that one day, my brand...my business model, will inspire others.  For now, I have a lot of work ahead of me and I am ready to start!  My sleeves are rolled up, I have a plan, I have supporters, I have my community..here we go!  First things first...off to meditate to create the vision and later, to allow my THOUGHTS to BECOME...THINGS.

For now, my practice site for my business model can be found below.  Any advice on how to improve on it would be gratefully accepted!

www.angelofavonlea.web.officelive.com


~namaste~

Lose Someone so you can Win Your Life back

Today is VETERANS DAY in the United States.  11-11-11, as it happens to be.  I have known many veterans over the course of my life and currently know a few enlisted servicemen and women. My readers know, that my brother was KIA in 2004.  So on a day like today, I have some feelings and thoughts...perhaps not the same as the majority of my friends and neighbors.  But out there in my community, there are like-minded individuals who feel that honoring Veterans today is important.

Some years I march in parades, while other years I hear a speech and visit the Cemetary.  On Memorial Day this past year, I took my family away to New Hampshire for the weekend.  No matter how I use this time, I am mindful..and not just ON THAT DAY...but always...I am mindful that I am here, alive and living.  As I live, I offer gratitude on a daily basis for the opportunity to do so.  It is easy to forget or take for granted the lives of fallen ServicePeople like my brother.  But because it is personal to me, I have  that perspective burned into my consciousness where it stays always.

 This photo above is Sgt. Todd Parisi removing the yellow ribbon from the tree at Dad and Jane's House during the funeral procession.  This picture is very dear to me.

This picture here...THIS is tomorrow's Veteran.  He is the son or daughter of any person in any community anywhere around our country.  He or she is or was an average kid who wanted to go to college or make a life for himself.  The military is an important life choice.

The date on this picture would indicate to me that it was taken exactly one month before John died.

So what does my Blog title mean?  Lose someone...so you can win your life back.  We are all engaged in warfare.  Our war is on the spiritual vs physical level.  Although my John used weapons and fought a physical enemy, his enemy was never a person or the Taliban or AlQueda.  His purpose in life was to fight a Spiritual battle.  I wonder what tools he used for that.

Losing John had a profound effect on everyone here in our circle.  It made such a devastating crater that those at ground zero were just taken out.  My Mom and my Dad will never be the same. My sisters and I are affected in varying ways.  But for me, Losing someone meant winning Life back.  John would never ever have wanted any of us to suffer and be miserable without him.  John loved to live and play and travel and meet new people and he was an all-around great guy.

Losing John started me on a path of discovery.  After a year or two of depression, related to losing him, I tried getting back out into "The Workplace".  I took a job at AAA.  I found myself always emotional and never achieving the level I wanted to be at. I had moments whem I was truly strong and I was impressive, but I could not perform that way consistently, and so the depression came back when I was pregnant with my son and working there.  People were way more understanding then I could have expected.  I had great times there.  But eventually, I had to ask myself, how long can you carry-on with this facade of happiness?  I didn't want to just keep getting by, I wanted to really WIN MY LIFE BACK.

I left that job in 2009, but I did not experience my first real breakthrough until 2010.  I often credit reading The Secret on my birthday (August 20) with my initiation into discovering The Right Way to live, but actually the changes began a slight bit earlier in May 2010.  I was stricken with the desire for change around that time.  I had an inner prompting to exercise, lose weight and improve myself.  It was because of this that I would be in Danielle's car the day she got wrongly fired from Sears, and I would sit on a copy of The Secret in her passenger-side seat.  Because of her detour through Cranston to retrieve a phone charger, I was able to read the first few chapters of this book, which started my thinking.  I had never heard such ideas as what I was reading and now...today...I completely take for granted that EVERYONE knows this!  I wonder if they do?

When I began that transformation, it was slow...it was a process and did not happen instantly.  although time, according to Einstein, exists everywhere all at once rather than in a line, we are all constantly being exposed to new things and receiving new messages.  I guess it is possible they are old messages, just newly received.  Anyway, no one really cares what you know unless they know that you care right?  At first when I would talk about my new beliefs, people seemed uncomfortable or perhaps they were judgemental of me for not just reading a book and then saying "hey that was a good book" and putting it away.  I could not do that.  I re-read it many times and I went on to receive and read The Power.  But the theme of my life choices had become "transformation".

So, Losing someone caused me to WIN LIFE...back.  I can remember a time in my life when I was connected with these beliefs.  It was time of innocence for me.  I can still remember it though.  I used to convene with nature and escape to the woods where I would ponder the nature of all things and talk to  my God, and sing and pray and cry and run.  I would literally frolic in the woods.  That is the level of joy that we are expected to feel if we truly believe in Certainty.  If we want to Win back our lives...the lives we were meant to have.  This is how we were created to Live.  We are no accident of evolution...no by-product.  We (people) are the Divinity of the World.

My Brother John's Last Accomplishment in life...earning his Purple Heart.

~namaste~

How do you measure your (Life) Progress?

Hello friends.  I am awake this morning and full of joy and hope.  Although my sinuses are swollen and I have NO WORK to do, I feel free and happy.  I am grateful that I do not need to be busy to feel important.  I do not need to be over-committed to feel satisfied.  I do not need anything or want anything.  I have all that I need for real happiness.  I now really see that I am not the only person who lives this way and wants to live this way...by choosing to separate myself from living in the physical world only.  I am glad to know that I am not the only person who believes that our lives are created by our thoughts and choices.  I believe that things are as good or as bad as we perceive them to be, and that is all.

This morning I am reminded of some influential authors on this subject:  Dale Carnegie, Andrew Carnegie, Napolean Hill, Charles Haanel, Wallace Wattles and Rhonda Byrne.  These are some of my like-minded associates.  I began this blog, "Thoughts Become Things" after I read the book The Secret.

The Secret was the beginning of my journey.  It was my awakening.  I went on to read Rhonda Byrne's second book, The Power.  The two books referenced many other teachers, and mentors and believers of the "secret knoweledge of the universe".  From her writings, and her references, I constructed a list of authors and books and continued my reading.  Each new teacher showed me a way to tap into this Universal Energy and Universal Thought.  This increased my personal power.  Over the past year, I have seen a transformation in my life from where I was a faithless person, so lacking in hope that I nearly committed suicide to the person I am today.  I will elaborate more on this shortly, but first I would like to acknowledge that friendship is always important.  Relationships, as challenging as they can be, are an essential element on this journey.  I have been blessed to find like-minded friends, faithful friends, generous friends, loving friends and just long-suffering friends.  All of my relationships fall into one of these categories (at least).  and also, there have been people who have chosen to walk away from me, or I from them.

So how do you measure your progress? The many teachers and mentors discussed earlier would tell us that everything is possible for us if our thoughts are pure and our intention is to use what we receive for the greater good.  We must give if we are to receive.  What we receive is given to us freely from the Universe through the Law of Attraction (LoA) and therefore, we must seek it with a pure heart, lest we receive an abomination rather than a blessing.  The LoA, like the Law of Gravity, is non-discriminating and does not judge our methods or our motives.  But what we give out to the world, like a mirror reflection, comes back to us...so it better be good!  As human beings who are created in the likeness of the greatest power in existence, we need to Be the Light of the world...not just reflect it or take it.  I want to be the light.  That was the only message I really ever needed to hear...that it is my duty to Be the Light.  All I have to do is just Be the Light.  So now let's measure.

I measure my progress by a simple method.  I gave and I received.  How much did I receive?  What did I receive?  What am I receiving?  How has what I have given compared and what more can I give?  Did I receive what I believed?  What did I actually achieve?  Did I achieve what I conceived?  When I conceived the idea of what I desired, did I do so with a pure heart and the desire to share it?  After conceiving what I desired, I had to believe it was possible in order to receive it and achieve my goal.  So how do I measure all this?  How do I measure my life while it is ongoing?  What is my tool for this, or what is my equation?  There are many questions here.  In Kabbalah, we are cautioned about allowing our joy and happiness to fluctuate with the occurance of what we perceive as "good happenings".  When we rise too high or fall too low (emotionally speaking), we are not truely connected to the Light of the Creator or to the Energy of the Universe.

First, as I measure, I acknowledge that there are areas with great blessings for me in my life right now.  There are also areas where I am not being blessed right now.  How I interpret this is that these areas where I am not experiencing blessings reflect places where I am not giving enough love and where my tikun* exists.  This is my "weak spot" and I am responsible for making it better.  All in all, that is good news!  Nothing is beyond my ability to improve! So my calling then, is to overcome these and improve myself.  The main area in all of our lives that needs constant restriction is our Egos...our sense of the Self, the Individual.  I personally believe we are far too separated from one another and that in order for the world to heal, for there to be peace, we all must have the same consciousness.  That consciousness would be LOVE..only love.

So in August of 2010, prior to reading The Secret, I was a sad lost soul who had contemplated suicide, become a liar and a cheater and an all around selfish person who kept people at arms length or further so that I did not need to give...so that I would not be asked to participate or share or choose or put myself "out there".  Slowly, after discovering there was a LoA and other powers at work, I began to emerge again from that sheltered place.  I began to try new things and seek opportunities.  Part of what I was destined to do, and needed to do was to meet new people and broaden my expereinces.  Incidentally, meeting people and broadening my experiences became a very useful technique for me in dark times....times when I found it hard to find a happy place to meditate or clear my mind.  But my outreach proved helpful, and has been my saving grace!

That summer, I had decided it was time to expand my work horizons.  Also, having been unhappy in a relationship for a long time, I was wondering how it would/could improve or if it was time to end it and if so, how? When?  I followed Rhonda's advice and began visualization exercises...studied The Master Key by Charles Haanel and began regular daily yoga and meditation.  By October, I was offered the part-time job I wanted and had some breakthroughs in communication with my partner.  I was now finally able to genuinely see the good in him instead of always focusing on the negative.  By February, another remarkable transformation had occurred.  This one involving my 9year old daughter, Annika M. Salgado(annikamsalgado.blogspot.com).  She and I began a journey for her as a child Actor!  My desire to expand business-wise was also experiencing growth in the enterprise of being a Planner/Organizer, although more slowly then I had hoped for.  Summer 2011 felt like a slow period but there was a LOT of relationship-building and cooperative efforts with family.  Also there was loss...due to death in the family and due to friends/relatives who were no good for me.

September 2011 rolled around and I felt like a bush that had been pruned to the trunk!  My existing work had produced lovely results in deeper relationships and new contacts and increased praise and reputation.  BUT...it was not my desire to grow this business and so the challenge was...knowing when to say "no" to what I do not want.  I do not want to continue doing daycare.  I want to expand my business enterprise to include Event Planning that will generate income.  I want to write and be published and receive income.  I want to work at home where I can care for my kids while receiving income.  I want money in the bank...for a rainy day or a vacation!  I want bills covered and then some.  I want my own car.  I want to sing and use my creative abilities to generate income.  So September was a challenge...to keep the faith.  I challenged myself to put aside the desire for money and the desire to have income to spend.  I challenged myself to restrict those desires and force myself to attract the opportunities that I was passionate for!

October proved that this all works.  Not only did I see the culmination of the group/family effort happen when my stepdaughter Daly was married on October 23rd, but I saw the real results of my faith.  You see, when momey got tight, I got tighter.  When people let me down, I stood firm.  When we lost something, I had faith that something better would come to replace it.  And when I turned down business so that I could create some space for my miracle...my promised blessing...it CAME! It came not once but many times.  It showed itself everywhere...like a little pop-up show.  I saw my miracles blossoming like a happy garden in springtime!  I saw the light...because I became the light.  What was I willing to give in order to receive?  I gave up the thing most people cling to...security, the "sure thing" path.  I believed more was possible.  I should be very clear here...this was only possible because I am not the primary breadwinner for our family.  In order to be blessed, I needed to give more and more and support and encourage that person who does that for me and that is my children's father!  If not for his stability, I may never have been able to see this happen!

So first there was the invitation  to write Blogs for money.  Then there was the invitation to sing.  Next was the invitation to volunteer.  Then the invitation to Plan.  There was the invitation to people's homes and parties. Most importantly, there was the invitation to create.

In addition to invitations, there was what I was given!  I was given praise.  I was given Love.  I was given gifts!  I was given honor and respect.  I was given hope.  I was given encouragement.  I was given partnership.  I was given opportunity!  I was given a community.  I was given MONEY!  I received these things exactly when I needed them and in accordance with my faith.

What did I give?  What did I do to earn this? Quite simply...I...WAS...THE...LIGHT.
I called people.  I followed-through on promises.  I stepped-out of my comfort zone.  I pushed through selfish emotions.  I studied and read and prayed and meditated and chanted and affirmed.  I encouraged and lectured and spoke to people in the truthful way.  I sometimes shed light for people and sometimes caused them to think, even to hurt as they thought, but to face the truth and not run away.  I parented.  I honestly listened.  I responded to people.  I did NOT turn away.  I did not ignore.  I GAVE...of myself and my talents.  I did not allow insecurity or uncertainty to make me a selfish person.  I showed strength under fire.  I OVERLOOKED people's shortcomings.

Now that November is here, I am actually feeling amazing.  Not HIGH.  Not low.  I feel completely amazed.  I have confidence that cannot be shaken.  I have certainty to cover me in quiet unproductive moments.  I have the love of my family and my friends.  I have a community that encompasses me beyond them.  And if I lost it all tomorrow, I would know exactly how to survive, rebuild and remain faithul.  I do not want to be tested in that way, and so I remain faithful, and grateful.  I am so thankful to the people who brought me food when I had none or said kind words about me even when I would not hear.  I have felt their love.  I am truly blessed.

~namaste~

*tikun is a kabbalistic view of qualities a person has, especially faults, that must be overcome in the course of their lifetime.