I have had a lot of people in my life tell me that I do not express my true feelings...that I hide them. That I create isolation that creates unhappiness for me. If this is true as I suspect it might be, I have been working on this over the past year. The Secret has helped me identify this quality to some degree by teaching me that unhappy feelings block my magnetism, lower my frequency and keep me trapped in an unhappy cycle of behavior and mental status, and an unsatisfying life. I don't actually need my friends to tell me that I hide myself from the world. It make me laugh though because those who say it are doing the same themselves...we all do it...every single person on the planet who has ever had a reason to hide anything does it. Only very young children don't do it. Their innocence and lack of experience with the ways of the world is the only thing separating them from being a hider like me. I don't consider it hiding though. I consider my decision to be uber-private these days as a way of not only protecting myself and my interests but also to not burden others and to make myself more available to the needs of others. The less I am focusing on my own "troubles" or issues, the more my mind and heart and physical body are freed up to think of others and their needs and wants. I prefer to put my attention and energy there and take care of myself privately. I also feel that the answers to everything I am pondering do not exist in the outside world. They exist within me.
What I want from life...and what I desire in life are the same as what I NEED in life. I basically have what I need and therefore most of what I want. My deepest desire is really just to have increased feelings of satisfaction on many levels...career, family, sex-life, romance, finances, travelling, meditation,health, exercise and my physical appearance. I have dreams that are very large and I do not want to compromise. I have made certain choices and those are pretty well set-in-stone for now but I refuse to feel holed-in by them. If there are areas of my life that I am needing to improve and I cannot improve by my own action alone, I will simply choose to see whatever is positive in it and carry on as the happiest person I can muster-up being. I feel very motivated by the criticism of a lot of people in my life these days. Everyone seems quite critical to me lately. Since I am a magnet, I suspect I am either being critical of them, critical of myself or critical of some other situation or people because anything I do to others comes back to me. Otherwise, it could be my insecurity feeding that thought that people are holding me in judgement. Either way, this is a typical "AngelMarie" flaw that needs work. No time is better than the present to change for the better and so here and now I release this negativity and I refuse to care, notice or be concerned about anyone being critical or judgemental of me. I will strive to be, do, look, feel, and present myself the best I can. I also vow to myself and in front of any possible audience I have who may read this, to do things the Right Way...so that I can draw only blessings to me.
Now let's talk for a spell about my improvements...my progress in these areas. Since reading The Secret and the other literature that followed it, and then puttting these ideals into practice in my life, I have grown a lot. I was able to witness many miracles and be a pivotal figure in the growth and development of others and myself. I am grateful for being exactly where I am now and who I am now. I am grateful to have received these blessings and I know that my life IS a blessed life. I am MORE blessed than others because I appreciate and see what I have and I feel...really FEEL...good and grateful. I feel elevated today because that is what gratitude does. Gratitude raises your "frequency"...your vibration...mental vibration. When that happens, new opportunities always follow because whatever stagnation or negativity WAS in tune with your vibration is forced out of it's place. This is why I am so sure and SO confident that the answers to every problem I have lie inside of me waiting for me to meditate and discover it. My life is about ME. My children's lives are about MY CHILDREN. We all create the life we need and want. My kids are very blessed to have me as their mother because I am willing to sacrifice everything I want and desire to serve them best and make sure that they have the happiest life imaginable. Many years ago, I used to meet with a Therapist. She showed me that my negative thinking...the "spiral" as I call it...was the root cause of my depression and my anxiety. It was not beneficial or useful. My negativity was destroying me. I still struggle with my negativity, especially in some areas....BUT...my awareness of it and my decision to DO something about it, have been making my life better and better each passing month.
Now. Today. This week. This Month...I am facing new difficulties. But...I am grateful that I have been given the understanding of the root cause and I have been shown evidence to support certain feelings and intuitive thoughts I have been having. Many things feel like a mystery even now but that just means that I am not in the right place to make a permanent decision or assume a position of absoluteness. At these type of crossroads, I must pause...sometimes for a long while...as I continue to observe the Universe showing me the way. I BELIEVE that ALL GOOD THINGS are meant for me. I KNOW with confidence that I am supposed to have everything I desire and want in life. If what I have now is not what I need, desire, or want in life then the Law of Attraction will become a Force of attraction and work on my behalf. All I need to do..my part...is to SHOW LOVE to everyone and everything and demonstrate gratitude on every occassion I am given...even the ones where I would be disappointed or unsatisfied. This is an area I need work on! Once again I will say it: There is no better time to start then right now!
~namaste~
No comments:
Post a Comment