Being Ms. Angel

As a Childcare provider, I have a hefty responsibility.  I do not take this responsibility or any of my duties lightly.  More than most people know, I worry and I think and I plan and I prepare every detail of the days I spend with all the children.  Very little that happens in my 9 to 10 hour day is unscripted or unplanned.  Clearly I cannot predict every conversation or what specific activity will consume the day, but I do know the flow.  I can easily assure the children will be fed and looked after.  One of the tasks that consumes me the most is transition periods and relationships.  There are now four distinct age groups within my group.  Thankfully this is a temporary stretch for me.  Sadly I will not retain my 16 month old for long and I will be sad when he leaves, but I have three age groups already and cannot continue on long-term with the fourth because this would be do difficult and would hinder the proper development of the other three.  Aside from the young toddler, I have a School-Aged group and also a Preschool group.  The third group consists of only one person- an unusual child, but a very special one...my one and only kindergartener.  I always find that any child has the unique capacity to surprise me.  Thankfully I was put in my place good and right today.

The Kindergarten child I have now was once a preschooler in my care.  At the time, this child was a disciplinary challenge for me and I had to ask her Mother to remove her.  Since school was starting we discussed trying things out one more time and seeing if she could come back and behave properly.  Being my only "K"...and Warwick Schools having only half-days for student like her, means that she and I will have to work extra close together to achieve all her scheduling needs.  I was apprehensive today, but after our talks throughout the day, I came to learn how fragile her young feelings really are.  She was very humble.  She remembered how she used to come here and how she stopped because of her difficult behavior.  She actually apologized! She became very excited when I explained to her that this was going to be her new daycare.  Her eyes widened and she exclaimed, "This is a daycare??  Is that why everyone's names are up there?" she asked as she pointed to the Circle Time Area where I display my students names.  I couldn't help but chuckle.  The day felt light...in spite of the oddness that comes with getting reacquainted.

I juggle a lot.  People have no idea how demanding it is to be the person running everything:  My home, my kids lives, my daycare, my daughter's Acting career.  It's s alot.  sometimes I wonder if I can really have the balance I truly need.  I must learn to prioritize my personal care over other things like recreation.  Perhaps I should stop eating...that would make time for exercise...LOL!  All I can say is that I honestly need excellent health in order to maintain this pace.  My day begins at 6am.  My first clients arrive at 7am.  All day I am busy.  My last client leaves at 6pm.  That makes my workday span 11 hours!  Imagine...if your work day was 11 hours long?  No, I do not need to listen to angry customers or meet time-management requirements and company standards...and yes, I could work in pajamas if I choose to.  But I do work hard.  It is very demanding to meet the needs of 7 children all day everyday.  But they make me a better person...and I would miss them if they were gone from my life tomorrow.  They make me a better person.  I hope I return the favor.

~Namaste~

Liberation through Vibration

Vibrations are everywhere.  They occur constantly around us and within us.  Few of us think about vibration.  We just take vibrations for granted.  For example, everything we hear is only possible by means of its vibration and the consequent receiving of it by our ear mechanism. And then of course our brain's ability to translate what we hear into thought.  But thought itself creates vibration.  As a Music Student at The Universtiy of RI, I learned about the path of vibration created by musical sounds from various sources.  At the time I put little consideration into what I was discovering or into the Beautiful and magical world of Music in general.  You see I have been blessed with great musical ability...a gift few people possess.  Aside from being an instrumentalist and a vocalist, I also appreciate music composition and foundation.  Now I can add that I appreciate the Vibration of Music as well.

Music changes your environment.  Different kinds of music can be used to set an ambiance or a quality to any setting and Music is often used in this way.  I now see the beautiful benefits to this...and I am happily moved by it.  Last night I was engulfed in a Musical celebration which included MUCH Vibration.  I watched my brave and talented friends perform their Bellydancing routines, all the while thinking about the history of Bellydance itself and contemplating that this form of dance is deeply meaningful and the "shimmy" is not an accidental creation but a magnificent and powerful message-maker.  What was so fascinating about the shimmy?  I could feel the energy in the room increase with each one.  Movement and Music combined are very intoxicating...add to this sentimentality and you have a recipe for disaster or peace.  But either way, it is POWERFUL!

let us look up some more definitions for further analysis on Vibration and Shimmy.

from www.freedictionary.com

vi·brate (vbrt)

v. vi·brat·ed, vi·brat·ing, vi·brates

v.intr.

1. To move back and forth or to and fro, especially rhythmically and rapidly. See Synonyms at swing.

2. To feel a quiver of emotion.

3. To shake or move with or as if with a slight quivering or trembling motion: "Even as the film moved . . . to the more deadly fields of Vietnam, old hatreds vibrated in me" (Loudon Wainwright).

4. To produce a sound; resonate.

5. To fluctuate or waver in making choices

 

The shortest path here is to say that Vibrations are movement.  To "shimmy" in a dance routine means to vibrate rapidly and "abnormally".  It does often feel abnormal to shimmy but also it is not easy to do and requires effort, practice and physical preparation to achieve a shimmy.  A true Shimmy does not look abnormal..it looks amazing!  These wonderful vibrations lift the energy around us all.  Most beautiful art forms possess this unique quality.  I wish that more people would learn to feel the change that happens when Vibrations lift the spiritual energy around them.  Some people are aware of such changes and others don't seem to notice them at all.  Other forms of vibration that change the energy in an environment are from sound, temperature, light and the sensations we feel when we are touched (or not touched).  I believe that each of these areas holds the key to greater satisfaction in life.

 

 

I advise everyone to seek many vibrations, be them music, light, heat, touch, smell, movement or whatever you like.  Remember that your thoughts have a vibration and so when you think, make it productive and happy.  Try not to allow yourself to mentally dwell on negative things because if you do you will only prolong their visit.  Think instead about lofty things...bigger than life dreams and pleasant experiences you LOVE.  Each day as I relax into my meditation I instantly arrive at Crawford Notch (NH) and I see this place where the mountains are divided by a lonely highway.  There are green hilly, mountainous spaces everywhere I look and the only light is from the powder blue sky.  I immediately travel (by air) overhead to land gracefully in the Pemi River.  Smooth rocks cradle my feet in the freezing water.  Forest surrounds me and there are no people anywhere in sight.  It is my (Mental) strolls up the Pemi River that allow me to deeply examine my desires and my concerns.  From this place I create vibration with my thoughts and wishes for those whom I love and adore.  The vibration intensifies as I offer my gratitude for each lovely sensory experience that I have been blessed to have this day, and more vibration still for the ones I dream of having in days to come.

 

remember that your thoughts are powerful.  They will manifest.  My vibration of Love and Desire to be a part of my friends and family's Bellydancing Event manifested for me through a much loved friend!  I know she was tuned into the same frequency, because had she not been, I would have missed it completely!  Here's to Liz...and to all of you.  Thanks for reading my Blog!

 

~Namaste

Humility

I have had it on my mind for several days now to write a Blog about the virtue known as Humility.  These inspirations for the subject of my blogs come from a variety of sources and lately I have felt myself being called to exercise humility over and over again.  Accepting that we could all use much more practice at this, I am going to write about it.  Also, it brings to mind the Ben Franklin writing, "Being Virtuous" where he creates 13 virtues and then writes about his accomplishments while attempting mastery of them.  You will likely see more postings along this thread.
Check out :

www.artofmanliness.com

for more information on Ben Franklin's list.

So back to the practice of humility.  Let's go to our trusted source, the dictionary, shall we?
from www.freedictionary.com


Humility:  A disposition to be patient or long suffering.  A lack of false pride.
Humble:  marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude or spirit.  Not arrogant or prideful
Low in rank, quality or station.  Unpretentious or lowly.
Showing differential or dismissive respect.

After mulling over the meaning of Humble and Humility, I see why this poses such a tremendous challenge to each and every American.  We seem to only be humble under great pressure or with the weight of others' tremendous generosity upon us...which may also be false humility, but any should be better then none.  From reading The Secret and The Power, I know that I must place "humble" thoughts alongside "grateful" thoughts because I cannot truly be grateful before being humble. Being humble requires a quiet inner self and a calm spirit.  A person cannot achieve genuine humility without meditation and inner peace.  I want to personally Thank Ghandi and Mother Theresa and Nelson Mandela and so many other peacemakers who exercised humility and set this example for us to follow and learn and achieve as they did, Inner Peace...REAL success.

Wanting things and wanting experiences does not make us arrogant, but placing others' needs below our own or ignoring the feelings of others does.  Arrogance is the mortal enemy of Humility and destroys our good character bit by bit.  I am saying these things because I know from personal experience what arrogance and a lack of humility will destroy.  It tears everything in your life apart.  Perhaps we should analyze some of the Bible's favorite reminders about arrogance. The following are from www.thinkexist.com :

~arrogance diminshes wisdom
~the truest characters of ignorance are vanity, pride and arrogance
Be humble, for the worst thing in the world is of the same stuff as you; be confident, for the stars are of the same stuff as you
~the meek shall inherit the earth
~wisdom is humble that he knows no more
~If the grandfather of the grandfather of Jesus had known what was hidden within him, he would have stood humble and awe-struck before his soul.”

Ok, I think I made a point here that there is a lot we can consider and learn by adopting an attitude of humility.  And by attitude I mean a life adjusting way of living kind of character! As in all my Blogs, there is a point...there is an issue underlying my topic of choice.  there are so many things I WANT all the time.  I want a better wardrobe, a more beautiful physique, the perfect haircolor and cut...I want a Few Million Dollars to spend however I desire and to go on trips with.  I want the most wonderful home and the perfect clients.  The law of Attraction teaches me that I have all those things...or that I must believe I do and therefore, I DO!  In time, those things that I wish to see in my life will appear as long as I believe in them.  During my daily meditations I refer to my vision board.  On my vision board is ONE vision.  I was careful to create a single theme for this board...to see my life at a glance.  It has a car...pictures of my husband and kids and clippings of a Spanish Hacienda home and property.  I visualize myself living in this home in Florida and I see my family moving about doing their mundane life activities...living.  In time, I know I will live here.

Today I am humble because although several people have caused me heartache and even tears (I confess...they did make me cry with their rude and calloused behavior towards me)...others were there for me.  Others showed me kindness, interest, LOVE....they asked me to share my feelings.  This required humility on my part to share with them that I was hurt.  BUT...the best part of my day of learning humility the hard way was that I was hugged...Alberta hugged me and Raul hugged me...ALL the kids hugged me and even David showed me affection.  So I know...I KNOW...I know...that Love is always there.  sometimes you just need to squint your eyes really hard and turn your head and sorta look hard for it....but it IS there.

~namaste

"Good Enough" is NOT good enough

The law of attraction works this way:  whatever you think about (concentrated thinking), becomes the situations and circumstances in your life.  The law of attraction is about love...loving and showing love.  If we wish for the things we love, we must act with love to receive them.  When it comes to love, "good enough" does not have ANY place in it.  If you look for a Love who is just "good enough", you would be sadly disappointed.  If you got a job review and your boss told youthat your work was "good enough" , how would you feel?  If you prepared a meal for your family and then they said it was "good enough", would this reaction make you feel motivated to keep producing anything for anyone?  The answers of course are obvious...you would throw in the towel.  The best thing you can do for yourself is to look closely at your life...your methods...your ways...your choices...and ask yourself honestly:  Am I just doing what's good enough to get by?  Why not trying truly excelling?

I have been rethinking my behavior and my personality.  I realize I cannot change that I am outgoing or that the sun makes my face freckle...but there are many things I CAN control about my life.  I love having choices, don't you?  Think about how you would feel right now if you were deprived of the privilege to choose where to live or what to eat or what your profession would be?  I am grateful that I have freedom.  I am thankful to the women who struggled and battled and lived as outcasts in order to acquire it for me.  Thank you Cady Stanton and Susan B Anthony!  It is good to live by ideals.  Have you lost yours?  Do not worry...they are still there somewhere.  If you feel you have gone off the track you were supposed to be on, take heart and go find it again.  I DID!  And that has made all the difference for my life!

In my career, as in my personal life, I desire to influence change as I provide service.  It is a blend of passion and humility.  I have so many talents and I am sure you do to.  Look at yourself.  Consider your abilities for a moment.  How many gifts and skills and abilities do you possess?  How many do you actually put to a good use?  I read about this lady who works for a company called Plan International.  She is a lawyer.  In her employee profile it stated that she was a singer and that she performs concerts to raise money to then donate to the organization she works for: Plan International.  Their purpose is to offer care and support to children all over the globe who are in need.  I thought to myself, what a wonderful person she is!  If indeed she is a good singer, which we must assume, she went through many years of college to attain her lawyer status and then associated herself with an organization whose mission was of charity to children.  She took her passion one step deeper and puts on performances to raise the money to support this organization personally!  I am very inspired by her.  She does not live a life that says "good enough".  SHE lives a life that says, "I give and give", and that is what I want to do!

My daughter is aspiring to make a career as an Actress.  She loves to Act and Perform and Entertain.  Truthfully she is somewhat timid in front of an audience.  She wills herself each and everytime to push past this fear and perform as she knows she can.  I will never let her say, "I know I can deliver the Act but I cannot overcome my stage fright".  As her Mom and Manager (Momager?), I look for ways to get her in the spotlight and to give her opportunities to establish the comfort level.  In time, with instruction and repeated practice, she will acquire the level of confidence needed to excel beyond her present status.  I support her dream because I too have always been a performer and entertainer and was timid when I began.  I was literally BOOed off the stage the first time I attempted to sing for an audition.  My high School Drama Coach told me I sang like a mouse.  Many years later, a dear friend from my church congregation would tell me about the first day he met me and heard me sing in church.  He was so far in the back that he could not see me but could only hear my voice singing.  He said, "you were so soulful that when I met you and discovered you were this little petite white girl I could NOT believe it!"  To this day, the best compliment I have ever gotten from a fan.

Singing good enough was never going to be enough.  I knew I had to take it to the next level.  Annika will need to take her Acting to the next level too.  Most of us in our daily lives could take a few things to the next level.  I could use some improvements in my wardrobe, finances, diet, exercise and approach to family life.  Honestly, I reevaluate my Work often.  I rearrange, reorganize and revamp my activities constantly (necessary in the type of work I do).  Believing that doing what is RIGHT should be the foundation of each of our lives.  I am at this point in my life and I see so many blessings from it.  It is hard work, but well worth the effort!  Good Luck to you.  By the way:  Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity...something to think about.

~Namaste

Friendship

Friendship is a dubious subject to write about.  My last Blog had only 1 reader.  I have 283 friends on facebook...I observe daily how the number fluctuates and I find myself asking the question:  Who left me?  Who cut me?  Why did they do it?  I know it should not matter, but it does matter.  Friendships are essential in this world and there are many kinds.  I have NOT been the easiest, nicest or most loyal friend.  In the past I have walked away from countless relationships.  MOst of the times, I have done it when the stakes got high and I was not all in...I got scared and I left.  I guess you could say I have a long track record of being a quitter.  I wonder if my friends know that about me?  Anyway...this blog is not about being negative or about focusing on my negative qualities.  As I have been discussing over the past month, I have improved myself this year...and I wish to focus on the improved qualities.  This includes the improved quality of my friendship.  I only mention the past as a point of refrence and to establish relativity (EINSTEIN).

I am proud of my friendship abilities now.  I once felt ashamed of my inability toward genuine friendship.  I used to "make friends" by attempting to charm them into loving me.  This approach only makes its user a person who becomes insecure at every change in the wind around them.  People have peculiarites and we are affected by external events around us.  In my life, I spent far too much time worrying about why someone "blew me off" or "cut me down in conversation" or "made a certain remark about something I said, did or wore".  Now I sit back and observe myself more and them less, while remaining fully present when I am with them and attempting to meet all of their needs that are within my potential ability.  Friendship is Service to another...being OF service to another by means of availability, compassion, interest, and most importantly, shared experiences.

www.dictionary.reference.com

 /frɛnd/ Show Spelled[frend] Show IPA

noun

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.

a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.

3.

a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

4.

a member of the same nation, party, etc.

I find it helpful to reflect upon the proper definition of a word so that I can truly gather my thoughts and feelings.  But for some reason, the idea of friendship is certainly on my mind these days.  Each day is a learning experience for me.  With my newly found intuition finely tuned, it would be easier then ever to take offense at any number of things that have been happening of late.  Also thanks to my intuition being stronger, it is easier to set my mind back to the RIGHT way of seeing the situation.  What I have learned is that the majority of people around me are struggling with something or other and their struggle "shows" on them.  Some attempt to mask it with a smile, while others allow themselves to appear slightly frazzled and still others are willing to bare their souls by showing the full extent of life's beatings upon them.  To those in this lowly place, I offer my full suport.  I have been there.  To the others, I offer the same...no judgement, because I too have smiled and assured people that all is fine when it was not.  I have also allowed for a small amount of weakness to show without full disclosure.  I have been ridiculed for this.  I know it is not right.

So friendship...what is the real deal?  What is the Right way to be someone's friend?  Ok...I am going to google it....because I am not sure.

www.wikiHow.com

1 Be real. Connect with people whose friendship you value and see as sustainable long-term. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. Rather, a good friendship comes about by being with people who connect with you at level and get the person you really are. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually you'll regret the shallow nature of your involvement. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, so it's better to just be yourself than to let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not. In turn, you have a responsibility to fill their life with good memories and happy moments. Bear in mind it's better to be detested for who you are, than to be liked for who you aren't and good friendships withstand differences of opinion or outlooks anyway.

2Be honest. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends because it's hard to rely or trust a person who doesn't behave in a supportive or trustworthy way. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly – don't lie! Lying happens in those times when you say "Okay, I will...", but you never do or you only fulfill part of what you promised. Eventually people will figure you out and realize that you don't do what you say you will. If you've found yourself lying about doing things, then not trying to keep your word, start owning up to it and stop doing it. If you can't do something, explain so and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the no's as well as the yeses. And start being dependable when you say that you will do something.

• If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Simply talk about it and hope that your friend will forgive you. They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, 'Wow!' I've had an amazing friend by my side.' But, if you're changing, flip-flopping and undependable – that feels like you were not a good friend.
• Good friendship is based on trust – if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry." Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my husband is telling me we're going to our country house for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after work - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?". That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was. At least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.

3Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep that confidence and don't talk about it to anyone else. It's what you'd expect in return and so be tight lipped about the matter. Don't discuss your friend behind their back and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Rule out gossip or backstabbing when it comes to friendship! Never say anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their face.

• Don't let others say bad things about your friend and until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments about your friend that are not supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with something like: "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Until then, I would appreciate it, if you didn't spread that around, because that might not be what was really meant or intended…".

4Be respectful. Good friends respect one another and show this by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect their choices and be open to listening about them. Don't mock or belittle what they believe in; instead, be understanding and try to keep learning. Over time, the differences will make both of you stronger and better people as well as stronger friends.

• Always listen to what your friend has to say. Sometimes your friend will say things that you find boring, uncomfortable or annoying but if you have respect for your friend, you'll override these feelings with the desire to listen openly and give your friend the space to say what is needed and to do so without judgment.
• There will be times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend. Rather than demanding that your friend changes their way of seeing things, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.

5 Watch out for your friend. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the situation and to somewhere safer for them. Don't assume that they're big enough to care for themselves; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue.

• Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take their keys and/or drive your friend home personally.
• If your friend begins talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse first (unless those were the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.

6 Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give homework assignments when you know that one is absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral – or cook and take a dish or a meal over to your friend. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let the tears roll. Give a tissue and listen. Really listen openly. You don't have to say anything, just don't be too upset by hearing sadness or anger, or deep grief. Stay calm and reassuring.

• If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say: "Everything is going to be all right" if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that "Whatever you decide or need, I am there for you." If the need is to talk: talk; if it's to sit quietly: sit there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take in a movie or concert "together." Give a sincere hug. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture of a "quick" hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just "a moment," but don't overdo it.

7 Give thoughtful advice when asked, add perspective but don't insist that your friend does as you say. Don't judge your friend, but do advise your friend when they reach out for advice or when they need to hear a little tough love to keep them out of dangerous situations where they might harm themselves or others. Tell your friend how you perceive their situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended by your friend listening to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make their own decisions.

• Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice.
• Avoid saying "You should...". That may feel like you are imposing "shoulds" upon your friend and they're much less likely to listen.

8 Give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.

9 Listen. you don't have to agree – just listen to what is said. Make sure to stop talking to listen, so that you're not just running your mouth. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about your or their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. For example, don't sigh and groan like the world is against you. Seek help elsewhere and try to stop being paranoid. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you're not judging them.

10 Share. Being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can provided this is done in a balanced way in your friendship. Be there when you're needed and go the extra mile if it's going to make a big difference for your friend. Reciprocate in kind with caring deeds and help and your friendship will be strengthened.

• Don't be selfish. Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big no's in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move towards more self-less people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck , don't expect constant sympathy.
• Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or "wear out your welcome." When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue.
• Don't compare labels, prices, size and value.
• Don't let your friend pay every time you go out, even if it's offered. Don't help yourself to things at your friend's house without asking, unless you are willing and that is desired -- and practiced at your house in turn.
• Go home when it seems like the time is right; don't be like furniture. Reach for the door knob and say "Bye." turn the knob, leave... No one wants to be friends with a moocher or to feel used.
• If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then return it without being asked.
• If you end a friendship, consider returning any special gifts bought for you; it's good etiquette, so act in good faith.

11 Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately.

• Don't use your friends as a measure of your worth – you have value.

12 Seek to deepen your friendship over time. The more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good friend is really about – caring deeply for each other, warts and all.

Well then...that was helpful for me to read.   I hope my one or two readers will also benefit.  For what it's worth, I can honestly say that it seems I never have a shortage of friends, but a best friend...seems elusive to me.

~namaste

Stop the future-focus

My mind is constantly in "future-mode".  I know intellectually not to do this, but my deep negativity drags me to it over and over again.  As a child, I used to experience difficulties and I would feel out of control. After I was done crying or yelling, I would simply surrender with the words, "Time is on my side"...meaning one day when I am an adult, I will SHOW you....or I will DO that...or I will HAVE those.  Focusing on the future was a survival method and a soothing technique to get through tough situations.  It's amazing how we cling to what we have always done and what we have always known.  At some point we are just going through the motions without realizing it.

I read this useful article today that I found on the Facebook Page of "Finer Minds".  The article inticed me because it was about the subject of dwelling too much on the future and not being present for what is right in front of us.  I HAD to read it...I pride myself on being one of those "in the moment people" and yet I often am the total opposite.  So I deducted that reading their article might help me tune it up a little.  Life is about fine-tuning what we know to be good for us.  I mentioned this in my blog a few days ago...about deepening the ypga pose...pushing yourself just a bot more to really give the muscles a workout.  My spiritual muscles could use more than a little workout, and that much is for sure!

Because I experience challenges in my home life (with the husband, not the kids), I find myself frequently relying on my ability to idealize my future hopes, dreams, goals etc....and chastize whatever exists in the present.  What a fool I am!  I really truly missed the point! Thankfully, each moment is the time to redirect ourselves.  And so I have been redirected by the finer minds people and their article.  I cannot impress enough the necessity and benefit of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, places, things, music, movies, books.  Life should be seemless.  That which we love should be all around us...not miles away.  What I Love the most are my children.  I need them.  I also Love my work.  I Love earning a living and not relying on anyone else to provide for me.  This is what I desire greatly out of life and why I aspire to work in a field such as Events Planning...because of the capacity for expansion.  I cannot get lost in the future plans.

Today is a wonderful day and this is a wonderful moment.  I do have a GREAT life.  A year ago, I would have a list of things to complain about pertaining to lost opportunities or anger that I could not let go of.  But not today I don't.  I am happy...cheerful...whole and perfect.  I have a happy and harmonious home.  I have a healthy family.  We are truly blessed.  count your blessings.

~namaste~

~ A year filled with Good Things~

On August 20th of 2010, I was presented with my very own copy of a little red-covered book called The Secret.  I read the entire book in a few days and therein discovered a powerful secret that changed my approach to life.  From that initial reading, I went on to read The Power, The Science of Getting Rich, The Master Key and a few others.  These writings illuminated for me, a deeply held belief system that was inside of me from early in my life.  When  was a child, I called it God and I looked for it everywhere.  I even joined a Church when I was 18 and in college, and for 5 years I tried to feel the things I have felt this past year.  For those years in my life I tried desperately to see miracles and to have Faith.  Today, I can honestly say I have Faith and I see miracles.  I can also say that I feel connected in a Spiritual way to people, places, thoughts and ideas.  To go even deeper, I will share that I feel blessed with insight, intuition and the ability to distinguish people's thoughts, actions and emotions so that I can protect myself and others by tuning into it and trusting my choices.

Making choices has always been a difficulty for me.  I grew up in  a home where good things were always witheld or just not there.  I am an overeater and overweight because of this...I eat because I can and I can have it...and no one can tell me I cannot.  This is how I have always lived my whole life...holding on REALLY tightly so that I will not lose anything else.  But this past year I learned many things.  And as I approach my anniversary of this New Thought life I am living, I am making another choice.  My choice is to totally let go.  I know what I want and desire.  I know who I am.  I know what I believe.  I trust myself and my choices and I accept that I will be blessed and may become more succcessful than I ever dreamed possible.  SO...I choose to LET GO.  I hereby let go of my negative thoughts forever.  I let go of my jealous thoughts and my anger from the past.  It's gone.

Letting go of these things allows me to find myself.  People in general allow their TRUE selves to be squashed under the weight of heavy responsibilities or they lose sight of their real desires because they are chasing something or someone.  I was lost for a long time...chasing things.  Now I do not chase.  I ASK.  When I ask for things, I believe they will come and so I set about my life's work happily and peacefully with gratitdude in the full knowledge that what I want and need is on it's way to me.  In other words...I wait for it to present itself...but I wait happily and peacefully...and I do not wait idly doing nothing...I seek out good things to do.  I look for ways to GIVE to others...particularly to give what it is I desire to receive.  When my sister Jessica moved to a 3-bedroom ranch with inground pool in Florida, I felt HAPPY for her....in spite of a tinge of jealousy for that was what I desired for myself.  But I know that giving happy feelings for her, only guarantees me MY blessings.  So I set my thoughts back to good things and ways to help people in my life.

It can be tricky when you need to say "No" or when people or situations drain you of energy or bring negative energy into your circle.  I used to fight that...try to fight it off or prevent it.  Now I just apply a bit of "judo" mentality...resist by turning its power against it.  It would be tough to give an example without telling someone else's business, even if I do not use names...so I will just say, whatever negativity people allow themselves to put forward, will be returned to them.And this also applies to people who create confusion; are mischievous; are problematic; are depressed or any number of things that are actually negative but people do not call neagtivity.  All Good, loving, positive energy will protect a person from that negative by elevating them to a higher frequency where the two cannot co-exist.  If this sounds complex, I urge you to read The Secret and get a clearer understanding.  Most of the people and situations that have brought me down in recent years are gone now and only one remains...but it's a big one.

Clearly I do not claim to be an expert on these things...I am a novice if anything.  One year is not much time to get the strength to overcome 36 years of negative thinking, insecurity or anger, at least not for me.  But I am much closer than I was.  I am writing- several different pieces right now.  I have an amazing influential, circle of friends who contribute to my growth and who are invaluable to my future success..and hopefully I will be that for them as well.  I am admired and Loved by my children and Parents in my Childcare and everyday I examine my procedures and see how I can make them better....like deepening a yoga pose, I allow myself to be always present "in the moment" in order to do this.  This is a quality about me that unless you know me personally you may never recognize it.  I am grateful for the people in my life who DO see it and who TRULY know me.  I am also thankful for the people who love me in spite of not knowing me better...and the ones who are getting to know me too.  I feel sorry for those who have the opportunity to be around me all the time but fail to appreciate the beautiful qualities I possess...they have the unfortunate curse of missing out on all the things I would be so glad to do for them if only they would soften their hearts and let me in.

My gratitude overwhelms me.  I want to say THANK YOU to the people who have come in my life or been in my life and who have made a difference for me this year.  Here are their names:
Thank you to the following:  Annika Salgado, Nicolas abatemarco, David Yabut, Lex Salgado, Daly Salgado, Juliette Bays, Didi salgado, Justin Crooks, Joshua Mojica, David, Tyler Manco, Uncle Jamie, TJ Manco, Danielle Manco, Sam Lemay, Holly Ferriera, Joe Lefrancois, Liz Lavine, Jeanne Amadon, Mark Read, Alyssa Woodhead, Danielle Christy, Raul Nunez, Suzanne and Ben Bays, Lauren and Mark Yabut, Rhyanned Murray, Tyler and Madeline Murray, Frank Gershkoff, Bobby Wilde, James Carroll, Tim Spurrell, ashley Ohneck, Jay Ohneck, Mom, Beth VanGyzen, Amande VanGyzen, Cailin Vangyzen. Tristan and Ethan, Skylar and Lindsey Lemay, Berta Lemay, Eduarda Clemishaw, Anthony Pontarelli, Paul Davenport, Haylee Haney, Teddy Haney, Jess Boudreau, Tracy Hill, Scott Boudreau, Adrian R'Mante, Giovanni samuels, Jessica LaCasse, Bob Perachio, Andrew from Model Club, Tim from Model Club, Chelsea, Melissa Randall, Rhonda McEnaney, Alissa Trottier, Frank Trottier, Darian, Damaris,Suzanne Arena, Bobby Braciola, Tracy Durand, Melissa Hardt, Justine Papaineau, Dawn Rezendes, Pedro Turcios..and many more.  If I did not add your name, and you were there, I Love you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

~namaste~