On August 20th of 2010, I was presented with my very own copy of a little red-covered book called The Secret. I read the entire book in a few days and therein discovered a powerful secret that changed my approach to life. From that initial reading, I went on to read The Power, The Science of Getting Rich, The Master Key and a few others. These writings illuminated for me, a deeply held belief system that was inside of me from early in my life. When was a child, I called it God and I looked for it everywhere. I even joined a Church when I was 18 and in college, and for 5 years I tried to feel the things I have felt this past year. For those years in my life I tried desperately to see miracles and to have Faith. Today, I can honestly say I have Faith and I see miracles. I can also say that I feel connected in a Spiritual way to people, places, thoughts and ideas. To go even deeper, I will share that I feel blessed with insight, intuition and the ability to distinguish people's thoughts, actions and emotions so that I can protect myself and others by tuning into it and trusting my choices.
Making choices has always been a difficulty for me. I grew up in a home where good things were always witheld or just not there. I am an overeater and overweight because of this...I eat because I can and I can have it...and no one can tell me I cannot. This is how I have always lived my whole life...holding on REALLY tightly so that I will not lose anything else. But this past year I learned many things. And as I approach my anniversary of this New Thought life I am living, I am making another choice. My choice is to totally let go. I know what I want and desire. I know who I am. I know what I believe. I trust myself and my choices and I accept that I will be blessed and may become more succcessful than I ever dreamed possible. SO...I choose to LET GO. I hereby let go of my negative thoughts forever. I let go of my jealous thoughts and my anger from the past. It's gone.
Letting go of these things allows me to find myself. People in general allow their TRUE selves to be squashed under the weight of heavy responsibilities or they lose sight of their real desires because they are chasing something or someone. I was lost for a long time...chasing things. Now I do not chase. I ASK. When I ask for things, I believe they will come and so I set about my life's work happily and peacefully with gratitdude in the full knowledge that what I want and need is on it's way to me. In other words...I wait for it to present itself...but I wait happily and peacefully...and I do not wait idly doing nothing...I seek out good things to do. I look for ways to GIVE to others...particularly to give what it is I desire to receive. When my sister Jessica moved to a 3-bedroom ranch with inground pool in Florida, I felt HAPPY for her....in spite of a tinge of jealousy for that was what I desired for myself. But I know that giving happy feelings for her, only guarantees me MY blessings. So I set my thoughts back to good things and ways to help people in my life.
It can be tricky when you need to say "No" or when people or situations drain you of energy or bring negative energy into your circle. I used to fight that...try to fight it off or prevent it. Now I just apply a bit of "judo" mentality...resist by turning its power against it. It would be tough to give an example without telling someone else's business, even if I do not use names...so I will just say, whatever negativity people allow themselves to put forward, will be returned to them.And this also applies to people who create confusion; are mischievous; are problematic; are depressed or any number of things that are actually negative but people do not call neagtivity. All Good, loving, positive energy will protect a person from that negative by elevating them to a higher frequency where the two cannot co-exist. If this sounds complex, I urge you to read The Secret and get a clearer understanding. Most of the people and situations that have brought me down in recent years are gone now and only one remains...but it's a big one.
Clearly I do not claim to be an expert on these things...I am a novice if anything. One year is not much time to get the strength to overcome 36 years of negative thinking, insecurity or anger, at least not for me. But I am much closer than I was. I am writing- several different pieces right now. I have an amazing influential, circle of friends who contribute to my growth and who are invaluable to my future success..and hopefully I will be that for them as well. I am admired and Loved by my children and Parents in my Childcare and everyday I examine my procedures and see how I can make them better....like deepening a yoga pose, I allow myself to be always present "in the moment" in order to do this. This is a quality about me that unless you know me personally you may never recognize it. I am grateful for the people in my life who DO see it and who TRULY know me. I am also thankful for the people who love me in spite of not knowing me better...and the ones who are getting to know me too. I feel sorry for those who have the opportunity to be around me all the time but fail to appreciate the beautiful qualities I possess...they have the unfortunate curse of missing out on all the things I would be so glad to do for them if only they would soften their hearts and let me in.
My gratitude overwhelms me. I want to say THANK YOU to the people who have come in my life or been in my life and who have made a difference for me this year. Here are their names:
Thank you to the following: Annika Salgado, Nicolas abatemarco, David Yabut, Lex Salgado, Daly Salgado, Juliette Bays, Didi salgado, Justin Crooks, Joshua Mojica, David, Tyler Manco, Uncle Jamie, TJ Manco, Danielle Manco, Sam Lemay, Holly Ferriera, Joe Lefrancois, Liz Lavine, Jeanne Amadon, Mark Read, Alyssa Woodhead, Danielle Christy, Raul Nunez, Suzanne and Ben Bays, Lauren and Mark Yabut, Rhyanned Murray, Tyler and Madeline Murray, Frank Gershkoff, Bobby Wilde, James Carroll, Tim Spurrell, ashley Ohneck, Jay Ohneck, Mom, Beth VanGyzen, Amande VanGyzen, Cailin Vangyzen. Tristan and Ethan, Skylar and Lindsey Lemay, Berta Lemay, Eduarda Clemishaw, Anthony Pontarelli, Paul Davenport, Haylee Haney, Teddy Haney, Jess Boudreau, Tracy Hill, Scott Boudreau, Adrian R'Mante, Giovanni samuels, Jessica LaCasse, Bob Perachio, Andrew from Model Club, Tim from Model Club, Chelsea, Melissa Randall, Rhonda McEnaney, Alissa Trottier, Frank Trottier, Darian, Damaris,Suzanne Arena, Bobby Braciola, Tracy Durand, Melissa Hardt, Justine Papaineau, Dawn Rezendes, Pedro Turcios..and many more. If I did not add your name, and you were there, I Love you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
~namaste~
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