My Family

My Family...this is the subject I am choosing for today's blog.  What can I say about them?  To start with, the idea of family is complex.  When I was a child, my family was my Mother, Dad and 2 sisters and then my baby brother John.  Growing up was a different world from my own family that I have built now with David.  The family I have now, is Me and Him...my daughter and my son.  We a re a four-piece set.  My kids have two amazing older sisters who are grown and creating their own families now...but they are a vital part of my children's lives.  For me, my step-daughters are my friends.  I worry about them in much the same way I would were they my own girls, but on the other hand, we are so close in age that it is easy to relate to each other and to the stages of life that we are passing through.

Anyway, my four-piece set is a wonderful group.  We have a lot to be grateful for.  We have certainly come through some difficult times over the years.  In 2011 we seem to be happier than ever.  I do hope it lasts and grows and deepens because David and I, we, are completely in love with our children and the Love we have for one another is also very deep and very spiritual.  We have been recently discussing what it is that helps that affection to stay strong.  It is a delicate blossom-Love.  You cannot neglect Love and expect it to persevere...it will not...it will die.  Love cannot exist where it does not.  Too vague?  dwell on it and it will come to you. 
My problems in my relationship have long-stemed from my lack of affection for David.  Over the years I have let many things come between us and have harbored grudges.  He has done the same.  Oddly, when we really focus in the present day, and in the moment, we are actually developing some understanding for one another.  It is slow progress and it cannot exist alone, it must be coupled with other loving gestures and acts in order to truly work, but it can and it does when you allow it.  When you let Love be...it will be.  sounds a bit confusciousy?  Yup.  I agree.  But I cannot tell you how miracles work- no one can.  They cannot be understood, only experienced and appreciated. 
I feel 2011 could produce a miracle for my LoveLife.  Either it will deepen where I am now and heal a gap in a 13-yr marriage...OR....it will demonstrate once and for all that we must part.  And if it does, it will take courage and determination but it can and will be done.