Being like Jesus

Ok, I admit, I did not take much time selecting that title today.  But it seems fitting.  Jesus was an admirable person to imitate and follow.  His actions though...that is what he often reminded followers to look at.  He did not just say it was right to help the needy...he went out and sacrificed his time and energy to help them.  He reached out to those in proximity to him and worked himself tirelessly at this task.  At the end of the day, when he had done all he could for those who came to him, he would spend time in prayer, most likely for those who would later resent him for not helping them too.  I suspect that Jesus (who we all know was hated by many people...even those he healed!), realized he would never truly improve anyone's life even with all the effort he could afford.  He certainly put forth a greater effort than anyone else in his time.  So if we are following that example, we will also find ourselves hated for not being perfect enough...not giving enough...not seeking out the sick or down-hearted in spirit and offerring to lift them.  Sadly, if those downhearted and in-need only realized that Jesus was busy attending those who flocked to his door day after day with their hands out, they might have had some compassion on him too.

So enough about Jesus in specific.  Let's refer to Kabbalah...when we are faced with negativity that others are pointing at us...the thing that makes us feel hurt is our own ego, our pride.  It is not pride at a job well done, but being too proud to face the darkness inside of us.  We all have darkness.  None of us are perfect.  The technique recommended for overcoming attacks by people who wish to expose our darkness to us is possibly the hardest lesson I will learn in life.  I have some people right now attempting to drill the lesson in, so I will take it.  I am not perfect.  I want to grow.  I will grow.  I am growing.  I have grown.  The question in a year from now will only be...have they?  I can honsetly say, I pray for people...every single day I pray for not just myself or my family (my kids) but I pray for a lot of people.  In fact, some of the people who are putting me down right now for "not being there for them"...I pray for these people and think of them fondly ALL the time.  Even if I do not appear to be present ...I am there in spirit.  But this is not enough.  Just like in the case of the needy and sick who wished Jesus came to them...when Jesus was busy attending to those who came to his door...I cannot possibly be everywhere at all times or everything to all people.  Expecting me to be that is unfair.

So when you, like me, find yourself wounded by those who you earnestly pray for and love....realize that you have room to improve, yes.  But also realize that if you are exhausted from giving and showing love at the end of the day but you are alive to give for another day...then you have fullfilled your life's purpose for that day.  Sometimes those we call "family" are the least deserving of the name...yet we still offer prayers that they will come to the light and dedicate their lives to reaching Love or Above.

~namaste

The Opportunity to CHOOSE...or to walk away.

Well today has been a fine mess for me...a real PICKLE.  But as predicted, my vision is much clearer and I am ready for some new opportunities, new people, new friends, new environments.  Thankfully, as we live fully in the present, the future has a way of opening up before our eyes.  Living each moment in the present thinking...about the task and people at hand...this is what life is built on.

This morning I made a very difficult decision.  I guess I feel like Madonna right now...or like Marilyn Monroe.  Part of my decision has to do with my name.  I will be changing it.  The reasons are very personal and those closest to me know what they need to know about it.  I have chosen the family I need to be wholeheartedly in and I must sadly close the door on some negative influences that have had unneccessary power in my life for too long.  I was angry, but it has cooled to a simmer and now I am repairing the damage from my anger.  Now I am asking for the calm and my Inner peace to fill the void.

Each time I have experienced a similar situation in my life where I am in a position where I must choose...or to walk away...This is the time when the truly wonderful things happen! So I should be GRATEFUL for my difficulties...for my tikun and my kilpots.  I should rejoice to expose my own negativity and cleanse myself and become more pure and more happy...more confident.  I get to transform myself now, like a butterfly from it's cocoon.  People are going to like the new me.  This is a much-needed and long overdue facelift of my life. 

I heard about a wonderful organization today called Send Out Cards.  www.sendoutcards.com
I will be doing research about them over the next month and I am strongly considering joining up with them in a Business situation.  I see a service that makes peoples lives better and I want to be a part of that.  I must thank my friend Dave England for connecting me to them.  Life is funny...you feel aimless until one day, you just don't.  Today is that day for me.

~namaste

Rolling with the Punches

I believe that the expression "rolling with the punches" refers to Pro Boxing.  I am not a Boxing fan...in fact I hate violence.  I dislike competiveness and I despise "climbing the ladder".  I clearly have a few hang-ups which keep me on the outside of what most people consider to be a Successful life.  A year or two ago I would have defined Success in life as Money, Wealth, a Home, a Great Career with Benefits and Perks.  Now I look at this list sadly realizing how far from Success that all is.  In some cases, truly successful people have these things.  Most of the truly successful people of the world do acquire wealth and have great jobs and homes, but they have some deeper qualities too that are less easily attained and often unseen.  To stand in the presence of a truly successful person is to be in the presence of Love.  When a person has Love for and with and through everything they do...they will always have what they need.  When they have what they need, they are free to give and share with others...and THAT is what makes a person Successful.

So right now, in my life I am "Rolling with the Punches".  I sometimes feel very much like I am in a Boxing ring...getting swung at.  The problem is I have no intention of swinging back.  I didn't actually come to fight...I came to impart reason and wisdom and perhaps gain wisdom.  Mostly I came to the ring to heal and harmonize.  But the shots keep coming.  I should be thankful because this is supposed to make me stronger.  I don't feel angry or sad...just a sort of optimistic melancholy.  I still laugh a lot and look for the good in everything.  I laugh with the kids and tickle them and play with them and tell them silly jokes and stories.  I enjoy helping them all with their school work and their musical instruments and their dancing and their poetry.  The children in my care are getting big!  Some of them are already 10 years old!  But they are my life these days and they bring me great joy.  The punches are not from them.

I am learning to ask for help and seek assistance wherever it is.  I have no idea why I am in that position but I feel a tiny bit beaten-up because of it.  I choose to learn from it.  I must learn to accept assistance, share credit, purge bad habits, and relish in downtime.  This lifetime has plenty of work for us to do but it gets done when it needs to be done and not any sooner.  The situations present themselves when they want to for us to have the opportunity to really grow.  Right now I feel beaten up.  I feel beaten by the negative information that I choose to listen to...the negative things I have been taught from childhood.  As I learn to think differently, I am careful to cultivate the "Right Thinking" in the minds and hearts of the youngsters in my care...whether 1year old or 12 years old...this it the time they start to create their mental world.  The Mental world they create will determine their Life Path.  Their life path is OUR future...the future of a planet in crisis.  That beat-down I am carrying around has manifested in my melancholy mood...which is not doing me any good.  Melancholy may as well be anger or depression for all the use it is to me.  So I should be spending time in Meditation and Prayer...visualizing greater things.  This is where my energy must be placed over the next few weeks.

It is challenging to maintain friendships...is it just me?  Friends are people and people are all experiencing some level of disconnect from The Light, from God.  As long as that situation exists, there will always be funny mood changes and inexplicable choices and odd behavior floating around.  I am generally good at accepting this...I am truly understanding.  I prefer to ask direct questions rather than to guess.  I also choose to have deep conversations and really know how a person thinks before presuming to truly understand their situation.  This is a long process...but the ONLY way to really Love your friend.  In order to Love your friend, you must put the effort into them..understand and listen and care deeply.  Otherwise, it is no good.  Most importantly though...be the friend you want to receive.  You want a friend who can keep a confidence?  YOU keep confidences...Want a friend who will be there when you need help? YOU be there when others need help.  I love that mirror!  I love how our lives show in our circumstances.

My writings may be more personal and less structured than would be beneficial, but I am writing for me now.  I had hoped that my writing would be helpful to more people or help direct people toward living The Right Way, but without a format or organization, I find myself musing and reflecting.  It benefits me to practice my writing skills.  I hope my readers at least gain some insight about me...perhaps one day my thoughts, ideas and words will have a greater impact and affect.  But for now, I remember that one day my children will see this when I am gone.  I want my thoughts to be powerful memories about my life struggle and my victory over my Ego and the Inner thoughts that have formed the course of my life. 

~namaste~

Wanting. Waiting.

That song by Madonna keeps coming to mind...with the ryhthm...you know the one I mean.  "wanting, waiting...for you to justify my love".  Amazing how as a teenager I would chant along to the song when it was on tv or the radio...mindless repetition of words with little meaning.  But now, at 37 years old, I find myself pondering them deeply.  I am wanting and waiting for something very special...something I have wished for a long time but never have really truly had for myself.  And I cannot fully have it until another person wants the same thing and "justifies" it...

I am starting off in the deep water today, but honestly I have not felt so lighthearted in weeks, or perhaps months.  Challenges have a way of making life feel easier....not at first of course.  A few days ago I was burdened and heavy-hearted and felt I had lost control.  I beleived I was losing something.  Today I am reminded that nothing is ever really lost except what never was yours to begin with.  I BELIEVE very firmly that what is ours will go and return to us.  In fact...to be sure, I DO BELIEVE that we were born with everything we needed and that we are required in our lifetime to let all things go and then allow them to come back to us.  As the old saying goes, "If you love something, let it go.  If it returns to you, it is meant to be yours.  If it does not, it was never yours to begin with".

These are reassuring words if you can be patient.  These expressions certainly explain lost love, death and passion.  As we all levitate toward the Light, or toward God, or toward a Unified World...or whatever it is we desire and Love most, the challenge is always, letting go.  Letting go means accepting that we are not the ones in control as we may think we are.  The power of our intentions WILL draw things to us...if we are purposeful and mindful of the thoughts that govern 50% or more of our time.  But I have frequently drawn things to me that were no good for me at all...simply to satisfy my desires.  There have been times in my life where I look around and I ask myself, "why are these people, situations or issues in my life?  I neither Love nor desire them".  It is at this time that I must judge for myself that I have unwittingly attracted them to me.  Undoubtedly there is suffering when I attempt to make changes.  There is loneliness in losing people...even bad people.  There is fear in giving up a job...or losing a job, even a bad one! 

When we concentrate energy, effort and thought into what is GOOD today...what is GOOD always...there is much to be happy about.  Taking the time to be truly in the moments of our lives is a cure for sadness and loneliness.  It is the great healing ointment for all wounds.  Whatever we do for a living...it should consist of moments that we are happy to be engaged in...not regretful of.  Those moments must be spent gratefully...acting in love or out of passion for something or someone.  I work with children.  There are many moments that I feel cross or frustrated.  These do happen and anyone with children knows that these young people experience mood swings and bad behavior on a daily basis.  But they also are innocent and fun and learn through play...they listen when read-to...they are learning new things.  When I embrace the latter of these two lists, my joy and passion for the work I do, flips.  As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in the book, "The Tipping Point" and also Rhonda Byrne in "The Secret"...it only takes tipping from being negative to positive...engage the 50%.  Once you find most of your time is spent in positivity, your life will get better and better and better!

When I worked as a Dispatcher for AAA, I had a difficult job...it is a tricky work environment to manage.  Not everyone can hack it.  I thought for a while I was one who would never be able to do it.  BUT...I didn't give up.  I learned and established myself and soon found that even on the most hectic, busy and stressful days, I secretly enjoyed the tasks that made up my day.  I loved solving the problems and making the plans...I even liked the tension that I knew would arise when inevitably conflicts of interest would occur.  I liked being the peacemaker among different personalities.  I truly LOVED being a Dispatcher...but honestly, the reason I loved it so much was that I knew it was a hard job and not everyone was well-suited for it.  I liked being one of the few who could really hack it.  I still take so much pride in that. 

That work ethic is the foundation of my life.  Am I a babysitter?  YES.  Is it easy?  Depends...how much do you put into it?  How much of yourself do you give?  Everything and anything we do has the potential to be easy or challenging.  I choose to challenge myself...everyday, in every way.  I give and give until I can honestly see that I am full.  I don't do it for attention or to be "owed back in favors"...nope.  I don't do it because "God told me it's right to do"...nope.  I do it because it is my destiny and why I exist.  I live to serve...and by fullfilling my life's purpose, and along that road, I know I will encounter like-minded people who will bring great joy into my life and experience it with me.  Achieving that joy and Inner Peace is my highest level of attainment and my ultimate goal in life.

I deeply admire the people who are striving for world peace...I feel ill-equipt for the job but I will work on increasing my spiritual energy and raising myself to a more enlightened place so that I will stop contributing to the negativity that has put our world in crisis.  My friend Sam and I have been talking about how we would like to have like-minded friends that can meet regularly to share about how we use the Law of Attraction and our beliefs about the Universal Energy and God to make our lives and the lives of others better.  I think this is a worthy use of our time.

~namaste~

Filling the World with Love

Filling the world with Love is the gift each of us is here to achieve.  Yes, I believe that our greatest achievements come when we are totally and completely GIVING LOVE to every person, circumstance, and opportunity that comes through our day.  By giving- freely and generously- of ourselves...and without grumbling or complaint...we can and will gain mastery of our own selves.  This is how we achieve our destiny...not by being perfect because that is not the Way...but by being HAPPY.  Love is Happiness and overflowing generosity.  Could you imagine every person in your life and you also, being that way every day?  Try it.  Picture it. 

Now let's analyze this for a moment.  How do we get to this place of Happiness and contentment?  I used to find it very challenging too.  But I have devoted much time and effort to discovering it and here are a few steps that have worked for me:

1.  Ask your God or your Spirit guide to open your eyes and your heart to understand.
2.  Quietly listen, look and meditate.  The answers present themselves in each thing you see and hear and feel around you.
3.  Stop relying on the obvious answer or the immediate dilemma..this is spiritual near-sightedness and it will not help you.  Ask yourself if there is not something more....
4.  Believe what your instincts are telling you.

These steps may seem simple, but this is how it works.  There will be times when the ones we love require some toughening up...maybe not even a loved one- perhaps a client, co-worker or even a boss or employee?  every person in our lives has been placed there for some purpose.  In some cases, a person or situation is in our lives so that we may choose to turn away from them.  If that is the case, you will not know it without relying on your intuitive guide (your heart).  You must believe in yourself.  You must have an opinion...on everything...at all times.  If a person is showing you that they need to be loved, then love them.  If they need practical assistance (money, a babysitter, food) then give it...and give more than they asked for because you will receive it back ten times over.  Likewise if a person is demonstrating they are ignorant, then be their mirror and reflect it back gently by ignoring them.  Just turn away.  Do not give energy of thought to their slight or insult.  Do not fuel their anger but walk away.

Something of interest to me is how people tend to reach out to others and then pull away when their friends or loved ones come close to be there for them.  This is because ultimately we are all selfish.  We all have moments when we are motivated more by our selfish desires (I am hungry; I am tired; I am arguing; i need a break; I want alone time).  It is this selfishness that impairs our ability to truly love others.  If I am demonstrating I love you and gaining your trust and your friendship or pehaps helping you through a difficult time, you must allow yourself to remain open or you cut off the relationship.  Love means being open and honest...easier said then done.

When you begin to feel real honest love for yourself...you really change. That is when you discover what life really has to offer.  It is bitterasweet because when your eyes are truly open, you can see all things for what they really are and not what they wish for you to believe they are.