Ok, I admit, I did not take much time selecting that title today. But it seems fitting. Jesus was an admirable person to imitate and follow. His actions though...that is what he often reminded followers to look at. He did not just say it was right to help the needy...he went out and sacrificed his time and energy to help them. He reached out to those in proximity to him and worked himself tirelessly at this task. At the end of the day, when he had done all he could for those who came to him, he would spend time in prayer, most likely for those who would later resent him for not helping them too. I suspect that Jesus (who we all know was hated by many people...even those he healed!), realized he would never truly improve anyone's life even with all the effort he could afford. He certainly put forth a greater effort than anyone else in his time. So if we are following that example, we will also find ourselves hated for not being perfect enough...not giving enough...not seeking out the sick or down-hearted in spirit and offerring to lift them. Sadly, if those downhearted and in-need only realized that Jesus was busy attending those who flocked to his door day after day with their hands out, they might have had some compassion on him too.
So enough about Jesus in specific. Let's refer to Kabbalah...when we are faced with negativity that others are pointing at us...the thing that makes us feel hurt is our own ego, our pride. It is not pride at a job well done, but being too proud to face the darkness inside of us. We all have darkness. None of us are perfect. The technique recommended for overcoming attacks by people who wish to expose our darkness to us is possibly the hardest lesson I will learn in life. I have some people right now attempting to drill the lesson in, so I will take it. I am not perfect. I want to grow. I will grow. I am growing. I have grown. The question in a year from now will only be...have they? I can honsetly say, I pray for people...every single day I pray for not just myself or my family (my kids) but I pray for a lot of people. In fact, some of the people who are putting me down right now for "not being there for them"...I pray for these people and think of them fondly ALL the time. Even if I do not appear to be present ...I am there in spirit. But this is not enough. Just like in the case of the needy and sick who wished Jesus came to them...when Jesus was busy attending to those who came to his door...I cannot possibly be everywhere at all times or everything to all people. Expecting me to be that is unfair.
So when you, like me, find yourself wounded by those who you earnestly pray for and love....realize that you have room to improve, yes. But also realize that if you are exhausted from giving and showing love at the end of the day but you are alive to give for another day...then you have fullfilled your life's purpose for that day. Sometimes those we call "family" are the least deserving of the name...yet we still offer prayers that they will come to the light and dedicate their lives to reaching Love or Above.
~namaste
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