Never you mind

(Tori Amos)

I won't keep chasing you but I will keep wanting to
driving me crazy with curiosity
wonder what you are thinking and what you are doing
if you are going or coming
you should not have the power to control me like you do
something about you is a mystery here
what brought you into my line of vision to begin with?
and why did I keep you in sight?

Years have passed and I still wonder about you all the time
all day and all night too
I find little ways to follow your life and know you as I want to
but the truth is I know very little about you
I know you love sports and I know you love music, as everyone does
I know you are gifted and smart and professional
You have your shit together...a quality I admire and desire in equal measure
but why do I care at all?

I envy your freedom- you are not bound by anyone or anything... you are wise
wiser than I but younger and more carefree
You do not pine for someone or something but you live each moment your way.
I wish for this to be my way...I strive every day to achieve it
I just want more out of life...more money, more love, more opportunity, more happiness
and I am less than satisfied

I want to be pined for, adored and treasured like that...by you or by anyone
Maybe you are all just the same to me
One is like the next and like the next...And so I must choose and be satiated
but my heart is a constant wanderer and finds solice in you at a distance...
perhaps you are exactly where you belong afterall.