How and When to teach your child about puberty.

Whenever you become a parent, at whatever stage of life you are in, you have it in the back of your mind that one day you will be required to sit across the table from your child and discuss the "birds and the bees".  Tonight I had this conversation with my firstborn, my 9year old daughter.  As with all things I experience there were several elements at play and the LoA of course had set things in motion to enable the chat.  First, since my daughter has been Acting and Modeling we have been observing her body more closely and so has she.  I thought her increased appetite was from all the extra work of Acting and Schoolwork, but nonetheless the idea was planted in my mind that perhaps she was having some sort of growth spurt.  This would be an unfortunate coincidence as we recently bought her a flower-girl's dress for a wedding in October!  Then today I observed a 10 year old friend of hers applying deodorant before school.  When later in the morning I found myself waiting in the Pediatrician's office with my 3year old son, I found some pamphlets and one of them was about girls and puberty.  So it was a sign!

Thank you, Law of Attraction...I did get the message and I did take care of business. Here are my tips for making it through if you have not already done this.  Keep in mind I am just a Mother and a Woman who works closely with school-aged children so I have no particular expertise.  Wisdom about life and people will go a long way as will a dose of patience.  here are some practicals for you:

1.  Whenever possible, have the Same-Sex Parent conduct the discussion.  If Mom tries to talk about body parts with her son, she will get through it but understanding that he may feel way more awkward then if Dad did it!  Also, it helps to hear from someone who has direct experience with the body parts in question.  Kids are skeptical and so they will probably wonder what we girls really know about the male genitalia...(Shhhh...they are not really ready to hear about all THAT yet.).

2.  Start by educating yourself.  As in my story, I picked up a pamphlet and it was enough information for a good discussion and a firm foundation.  Also, the literature gave credibility to what I was saying.  Try reading through it all yourself and then casually offerring it to your child.  Say something nonchalent like this..."I was at the doctor's office and I saw this.  I thought you may be interested in learning about this.  Read it and if you have any questions, come see me".  I know my daughter like a book.  She was playing her Nintendo DSI and I did this (exact words).  Then I went downstairs and occupied myself in a task that I would not mind being interrupted from shortly.  Sure enough, 5 minutes later she came down and whispered in my ear that she had questions.

3.  Create a relaxing atmosphere.  The worst thing you could do is let tension form.  Don't give them the pamphlet and then make yourself unavailable.  You may never be able to recoup for lost time!  I simply got up from what I was doing, brought her to the dining room where we could talk in private and got us both a snack and a drink (think comfort foods).  She immediately relaxed and proceeded to ask questions.

4.  Remain calm and keep a sense of humor.  Children are very direct.  They may say things that you personally could feel offended by.  You cannot let yourself take anything they say personnally.  In some cases, they need to vent about their fears...even if they fear becoming like (gulp)...YOU!  My daughter needed some visual assistance so I showed her that her reporoductive organs are underneath her belly button.  I did this while showing her my belly.  Clearly my daughter wishes to never have a "chubby belly" like mine.  Truly, how could I argue that?

5.  Don't push.  Whatever they want to know about or DON't want to know about is ok.  this should be a first step.  Rome was not built in a single discussion, right?  Our kids will survive without knowing everything and if they are not showing curiosity yet about any particular subject it seems unnecessary to push into it.  Honestly, I wasn't sure my daughter would have any questions at all but she did.  Then when the discussion got going, I was surprised at the areas of the subject she was interested in and what she said nothing about.  I reminded her that she and her classmates in school were all going to experience this.

6.  Teach Tolerance.  This is perhaps your greatest opportunity to emphasize the need for tolerance toward those who are different.  My daughter and I discussed the differences in the development levels of her and many children we know in grades 3 through 6.  Considering how varied the body-types were of so many kids in her school, this discussion was the perfect way to say, "everyone is going to experience this and so no one deserves to be singled-out for going through normal changes, no matter when they happen".  Fortunately I have one of those sweethearts of a kid.  She got the point.

7.  Follow-up.  There will be more conversations...this will not be it.  Keep the lines of communication wide open.  My daughter and I ended our evening with a fun Mommy-daughter "camp-in". 

I know my readers love their kids.  I hope this has been useful.  I can honestly say, I feel like today I did some good parenting!  Best of Luck to you all!

How to plant stuff if you live in Rhode Island

the fairy house

Springtime has arrived here in Rhode Island...at last!  I recently looked back through my yearly agenda and saw that in early March I had notated that it was time to start my early seedings.  I also had cutouts from several magazines, including Better Homes and Gardens and Martha Stewart which illustrated how to set up a small garden in your yard.  They were modestly sized which appealed to me and they were full of the type of Veg I prefer such as lettuces of various type, herbs and sprouts.  I love a leafy and unusual bowl of greens.  Anyway, being that we had snow in mid-March, the seedlings waited until it was a regular 45 degree temp before I began them at all which was after April 1st.  This happens every year because I really have no indoor space for them.  when will I learn that I can just buy the 6inch plants at the Ann & Hope outlet or even Walmart!

Well this year we had some special seeds flown in from Puerto Rico along with soil and fertilizer.  So we started a nice set of seedlings which include:
3 types of Sunflowers
Small Watermelon
Tomato
Purple Broccoli
Carrots
Spinach
Basil
Cilantro
Sweet Peas

alas...no lettuce, but I will get some!  Our Annuals have begun to sprung up virtually overnight.  It seems that way anyhow, but as we all know, long before we saw it it was happening...just below the surface, new life was budding.  I love that about life.  My lilacs have started to bud and so has a beautiful pink Hydrangea that I purchased only 3 years ago.  She is massive now.  Where she is planted is much to sunny for her but still she prospers.  David thinks I don't know that he sneaks my plants a special Fish-based fertilizer.  Shhhh...don't tell him, but I know it.  Anyway, soon the yard will have that wonderful feeling and it will last until around October.  I am glad though that we can add some food items to the list of things we can grow. 

I planned out several spots for the garden but it is challenging.  we have very little space.  I was determined to not let our organic gardening needs take a back seat for another year and so I went around my property doing as Michelle Obama suggests and finding anything that could be used as a planter.  NO EXCUSES this year for not doing it.  In the past it has always been that we lacked the extra cash to invest in a garden or the baby was too small and took up my time or our jobs kept us from doing it.  This year I have even more distractions than ever.  we have a busy daycare of active kids all vying for the bit of sunny yard we have to work with.  My mix-matched pots and planters may at first appear to be unsightly, but as the good weather persists, the wonderful things that sprout forth should take everyone's mind off that!  I look very much forward to creating a garden that can be maintained year-round and will get to that point one day.

I read in a Martha Stewart "Living" magazine a few years ago about how to create a year-round "salad greens" garden.  It was fascinating.  She insisted that if properly created, this garden could sustain year-round growth even in a New England winter.  It was a lot of work though.  I wondered if I could really see myself hiking out to my yard in snow boots to cut the lettuce!  But in the Spring, Summer and Fall there is no excuse for not giving it a try.  So here we are getting down into it!  The space in the photo above is about a 9ft by 4ft area and we are using pots because our soil is not prepared.  It would be more costly to put it in that way and so we are going to give it a go with the pots!  I am hoping that the sunflowers will be easier to maintain than I expect.  If they are I have a special event in October that calls for Sunflowers in the decorating. 

I keep having to shoo little poeple out of the "garden" pen because they don't understand what it will be used for.  Hopefully they will be excited to see tomatos, spinach, carrots and flowers grow!  On the opposite yard near the grill and driveway we discovered a small bush of raspberries had sprung up unexpectedly last summer.  I think I might get my thickest gardening gloves out and finally clear that old planter and put in some blueberry and strawberry shrubs as well.   In the summer, the kids and I love to go to The Warwick Blueberry Farm on Warwick Neck Avenue to pick our own.  They are inexpensive, fresh, organically produced, local fruit!  We just love introducing new friends to the place.

well, thank you for reading...and may all your organic gardens bloom!

A Beautiful Easter

Easter is one of those holidays that I think the majority of America either ignores or celebrates out of spite.  Easter of course has religious entities and commercial properties, but ultimately has lost connection with modern society.  I have a new perspective on Easter and Holidays in general.  I think that Celebrations like these can be repurposed to reflect our real values.  People have asked me what the meaning of the Easter Egg is  and what it means to the resurection or the holiday in general.  I say, let's repurpose it.  Let's attach a new meaning.  Let's re-evaluate what it is and what it could be.  I did this today after reading a Facebook post by a friend of ours who is an artist.  She dyed eggs and then went to do henna art.  So I got to thinking about the beautiful decorations of her henna and it occurred to me that she probably makes the most gorgeous Easter eggs!  So I searched the internet for Eggs that I thought she would make and I found these beautiful ones"

Maybe Easter can be a Celebration of Art and renewal.  Easter can be the start of Spring and the bursting forth of the energy of Spring.  More importantly, Easter can be a time for family renewal and bonding.  Children especially enjoy the art involved in creating the pretty Egg designs.  I personally have never liked it.  But perhaps if I set my goals a bit higher and tried some new techniques, I could find a  way to make it more fun for myself.  One way to enjoy Easter more is to see it through the eyes of a child.  I was surprised when my Mother phoned to ask for my children to come over and dye eggs!  When I arrived to drop them off, she had the table all set and the eggs ready.  It was so cute...clearly she likes doing it too.  Speaking of artistry, my Mother was always a very good artist.  Many of her beautiful productions were lost and destroyed when our house burned down many years ago.

Another fun  way to show artistry is cake and cupcake decorating.  Boy, do I sound like Martha Stewart??  I wish I had the skills...but I have other skills.  I prefer to create art using words.  Tomorrow is Easter Sunday 2011 and for the first time in years my family will be celebrating.  For the first time in years we have something to get together and celebrate- the homecoming of family.  With my Brother's Widow and her children in town, we have been having a fantastic reunion.  As I said earlier on in my blog, it is wonderful to have things to celebrate.  I feel this all has a spiritual connection.  I love to trace things back to where they begin.  This journey began in late August 2010 when I saw famed psychic Liz Sousa.  She had a message for me from my brother John.  His wishes were that we stay bonded as a family.  I wondered all these months what it was he was referring to.  I have a notorious track record with my family. 

About a month ago John's Widow, Amanda, decided she wanted to visit RI and MA so she could see us and go to John's grave.  There was a point after that when I had a vision from John telling me that this was what I needed to do.  I needed to facilitate that journey.  Now that she is here and our visit is underway, I have learned so much about her and about John's daughter Cailin who is now 6.  I have met all the children and talked about John with her.  I see her and her life now for what it is.  I feel how she has felt.  I think this is a special gift I have to be able to feel my way to greater understanding of people and things.  When Cailin was here at my house on friday during the Talent Show, we were talking altogether in a circle.  I reached over and stroked my fingers through her hair and while I was doing this I had a sudden flash in my mind as if I saw a black & white photograph of my brother smiling.  It stunned me.  I know some of my readers will find this weird.  I don't blame you, but because it happened to me, I know that life is giving me more insight.  I have been blessed with this new ability.

Easter is a time of new beginnings, like the birth of a child or the start of a journey.  I know what is happening and why and what is coming because I choose to be tuned into it.  Even more than that, I am very proud of my whole family for the things they have done to reach out to one another.  I am proud of Amanda for reaching out to come here.  I am proud of Grammi for having her stay in Grammi's home.  I am proud of my Mother for opening up her home to host Easter.  I am proud of David for fixing Amanda's car and sacrificing his time with us so that we can bond with her.  I am proud of Didi and Daly for sacrificing time with their brother and sister so that we can bond with Amanda and the children.  I am proud of my Dad for being there.  I am proud of Jane for persevering through serious illness to facilitate a visit with them.  There is no one who has been involved that has not done so with their whole heart and this gives me the greatest satisfaction...it gives John satisfaction too.

I welcome this time of fresh starts and cannot wait to see what else is in store for us.  But for now...off to meditate and reflect and show appreciation for these gifts.  Buon Pascal one and all!

How to find the Magic in Life

Isn't life great?  I think so.  I have more troubles in a day than some people have in a week, but I maintain that life is good!  Situations can look different depending on where you are standing when you observe or experience it.  I am 36 years young and I have a very different perspectivefrom most people that I know.  I am incredibly moody at times...especially with my family.  They can really bring out the dark side of my personality.  This is an odd thing because I love them to pieces and would die for anyone of them in a blink of an eye.  But there are just times when I need space!  An example of this was yesterday.  My son who is three was just irritating me all day yesterday.  He was clingy and whiny and not behaving nicely.  I planned to go to the store for supplies that we needed for the upcoming Talent Show, so I ditched that boy fast!  He stayed with Daddy and I got a much needed (QUIET) shopping experience.

Anyway, what does that little story have to do with Magic in life?  It has more to do with Magic than I ever would have thought.  As I was leaving the store, there was this little girl with her Dad leaving the store.  The girl didn't want to go because apparently her Mom was still in the store and Dad was taking the child to the car to wait for her.  She was crying, "but my Mommy!"  and looking back and wandering back to see if her Mother was still nearby.  When I heard her little cry, my whole body hurt.  I missed my son instantly.  By the time I returned home, I had only been gone an hour.  Hearing my Boy yell happily to me and run into my arms....well...that just felt like magic to me.  See, life can be simple or it can be hard.  I choose to make it as simple as possible now.  I have HUGE dreams- virtually mountainous.  I work toward achieving them everyday.  And because I do this, I have deeply satisfying days.

Knowledge of the Law of Attraction has changed how I live my life and how I treat people.  These small adjustments have made a big impact on my feelings of self-worth and overall life satisfaction which has in turn reversed some of my moodiness and altered my negativity.  I am not perfect.  It is a daily practice to improve myself.  Each morning, as my conscious world divines itself upon me...sunlight in eyes (grumble)...I make a concerted effort to first think of my happy thoughts and the course for my day.  Obviously we can never be completely sure what will happen in any given day, but I think my day through every morning. I think about who I will see and what I must do.  I immediately head to the bathroom and greet my face in the mirror.  I have added to this routine, that I carefully wash and moisturize my face.  While I do these things, I am also thinking about the thoughts that will produce good results for me.  Most people are not aware that their thoughts will bear fruit...but I am aware.

So the magic of life presents intself to me through this practice of daily positive thinking.  I focus alot on what I can do for others  and what they may need from me.  I ask myself daily, "what can I do for them"?  I look for ways to be of assistance to people who I will see each day.  In some cases, I know the smallest gestures will be enough...smiling when I greet them, being efficient on my job...even something as simple as overlooking an insult from a person can help create the strong positive energy needed to accomplish great things!  These techniques really work!  I have many things I envision for my life and because I have such lofty ideas, it can be tempting for me to "look down" upon the objects around me and find what I dislike about them.  A good example of what I mean is my furniture.  Our furniture is old and worn.  Do I desire old, worn furniture?  Of course not!  But looking at my furniture angrily will not change it.  Instead, when I notice the condition of it, I try to remind myself of two things...first, I remember the good times and people who have been in our lives and shared a seat on these sofas, chairs or floors...and I remember the meals we have shared at these tables.  Second, I consider the wonderful feeling I will have when the new beautiful furniture I desire will arrive!  These positive emotions are not so hard to create using the formula I described.

These are the simple ways that life is magical.  I love when there is real serendipity, synchronicity and unity.  It is hardest to maintain the positivity when very (seemingly) bad things happen.  We will not discuss these in today's blog, but for the monor irritations or the disappointments and bad news that can arise in any given day, it is important to fall back on the foundation of your practices.  It is especially good in these situations to spend time in quiet meditation and in visualizing your desired outcomes rather than to dwell on the feelings associated with the "bad" events.  I work with children all day long and so there are many minor irritations that affect me daily.  I work diligently to not dwell but overlook or to address a problem and then quickly put the matter behind me.  I accept the people and situations for who and what they are.  This has freed me up to receive many wonderful gestured of kindness and love and alos has opened many doors of opportunity.

I wish all of my readers a MAGICAL day!

Overcoming Obstacles like Depression

Ok, so full disclosure?  I have struggled with depression my entire life since my childhood.  I do not believe depression is a medical condition.  I believe it is a spiritual condition with psychological and physical symptoms.  Thankfully, I have discovered the greatest secret of life and how to overcome all obstacles.  All obstacles are essentially created by our own minds and our own desire to create that obstacle.  So depression is an obstacle to Happiness, peace and enjoyment of life.  I can say this with confidence because I am on the Inside of depression looking out....

If you find yourself depressed or starting to feel depressed, you must act quickly to counteract it.  Self-awareness will be needed.  What is depression?  Feelings of sadness and hopelessness?  What is the opposite of this?  Happiness and Hope, right?  So when you start down that negativity spiral, it is time to turn the train around.  You have to remind yourself in whatever way necessary that you still matter...what you LOVE in life still exists...what you hope for is within reach or achievable and most importantly, that YOU STILL DESERVE IT.  If you are reading this and you have never experienced depression or sadness (it could happen), you may be thinking that these steps are overly obvious or over-simplified.  I happen to believe the key to overcoming depression begins in the simple and grows deeper.  Let me explain.

Once you have some happy thoughts to start you off, and perhaps a dose of loving support from friends, you can deepen the feelings.  It only takes a spark to start a fire and then a bit of wind to ignite it into an inferno, right?  It's the same with our emotional condition.  We can get there with the power of our thoughts and our ability to imagine ourselves happier, richer, smarter, more successful...whatever we desire.  Depression occurs when mentally we are far-removed or completely separated from our deep desire and our LOVES.  What we LOVE in life is the life energy that fights depression.  It works, I know this from experience.  To get a little pesonal, I was depressed when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I was not depressed because of it, just happened to coincide with other conditions of my life at the time and the situation got progressively negative as my pregnancy hormones kicked in. 

One day as I was commuting home and in a depression daze on the highway, I had a strong impulse to drive off the road and down and embankment into a nearby tree.  I spent several seconds (which felt like minutes) contemplating the event and picturing it and accelerating a bit.  Then I sort of snapped out of it...literally shaking my head to clear that picture from my mind's eye.  At that moment a little voice inside my head sounded loudly like a foghorn in a storm!  I had a friend at work who had been bravely confronting me about the warning signs...he saw them.  This amazing friend was the voice in my head that rang loudly...it said, "Angel you need help".  Thank you Jake, you were right.  I went to work the following day and asked him for the phone number that he had offerred me for the RI Hospital Mental Health Dept.   I called and started seeing a doctor there.  It helped to go through counseling but most importantly, it helped to put a name on my problem.  Ultimately, I did not continue counseling for long because my doctor felt I needed to use medication and I refused to do so while pregnant.

I have had several similar incidences to this one from my teen years until present day!  The major improvement for me is that I now have tools to work with to get back to a healthy way of thinking.  I am glad and proud of myself, to share that I can and do feel healthy and well and great most of the time.  When difficult situations arise and I am tempted to feel negative, I try to change it then and there.  When bigger and more pressing problems occur, I am glad to have these tools at my disposal.  There are certain steps I need to take and do take.  I need the people in my life to realize how I tick (so to speak), so that they can help me.  I am lucky because they want to help me and they care.  I try not to wallow in self-pity, because this is the fastest way to lose friends and family who would be supportive otherwise.  It's unfortunate but true.  anyone who has been depressed will tell you, this is what happens in most cases.

I have posted this before, but it bears repetition.  A depressed person needs to make a pact with themselves.  This is my pact...my way of living.  If I follow it, I will not feel depressed.  If I fail to follow it, I will find myself depressed.  If this happens, I just need to refer back to this and ask myself where I took the wrong turn?  Did I let my focus go back onto myself or am I still thinking of the needs of others?  Have I reached out lately?  Who have I helped?  Sometimes, yes, I need to ask my friends to remind me why I continue to reach out...who is out there and why do I love them??  It happens.  But like I stated further back in the blog, you need supportive friends and family around you for times like those.  I suggest all people read the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and also read her follow up book, The Power. 

WWW.thesecret.com

Be well...mentally.  Reach for the Best there is in you and do not accept anything less!

finding strength you never knew you had

When you really start to see yourself honestly and completely, there will be things you love about you and things you hate about you....but for better or worse, this is who you are.  The Law of Attraction says that we draw everthing to us by our thoughts about ourselves.  Therefore we have power to change anything and everything.  If there is anything in our lives now that we are not happy with, we possess the power and ability to change it- no matter what it is!  You may find this hard to believe but it is the truth and it is the Law.  When I discover things are not as they should be within my scope and in my circumstances, I see that I have an opportunity to correct it by changing my thinking and altering my behavior in that area of my life. 

Some problems may seem too large to "think your way out of" but it can be done.  I have read about, heard about and seen it happen for other people.  Anything that can happen for them can happen for me in my own life.  It all depends upon my level of faith and patience.  It also depends upon my gratitude.  I feel grateful for so much that has happened in my life.  I sometimes wonder where I found the strength to get through some of it.  Ultimately, I found the strength from different sources at different times.  The smart person knows when it is time to walk away and from whom they should walk away.  I feel very reflective upon my situation today- I am thinking about how problems that are appearing this month were cultivated before (earlier) and are now presenting themselves as the circumstances I am living in.  So I am asking myself, what have I really been thinking about and how did I create such a mess? 

I would like this blog to be useful writing for people...timeless and subjective with just enough of me personally to give it that unique "AngelMarie" twist.  But today I feel slightly drained and slightly modified.  I do not feel like me at all.  I feel older and hopefully wiser.  I sense I am on the verge of a crisis...one that will change everything...one that will make or break me.  I know deep down that I am strong enough to face it and handle any outcome.  But I just cannot bring myself to be that open.  Have you ever had that feeling?  You have a burning desire to show your true colors and be completely open but you just know that the ignorant people of the world are waiting to lynch you.  They cannot wait for you to show the slightest sign of weakness.  So your pride stands between you and your absolution.

I have not followed the smartest path in life and for possibly the first time ever, I feel honest regret for it.  I regret how my choices have hurt my bottom line (finances) and how they have affected my health and wellness.  I regret the pain I have caused to people I love.  And the worst of it I suppose, is I still hurt over it inside..and I do not let it go.  this is basically telling the Universe, "I want more things to come to me that will make me suffer!  See how I love to suffer and how I keep letting myself suffer?"
So this cycle has to stop!  In some cases, this behavior manifests as depression and in other cases all out rebellion and emotional breakdowns.  But tonite, I am just calm and reserved and feeling very quiet with my contemplations.  I am stronger now and so I can never go back to those childish ways because I am not that person anymore.

Many people refuse to see me as changed.  They see me as they want to or as they have in the past but I know that there have been major changes in my heart.  In many ways these changes are visible and my life reflects renewed faith and spirituality.  There are even many good situations on the horizon and I believe that with my whole heart...they are coming.  new and big things are about to appear for us.  I am so glad for this.  Even if my soul feels completely retrograde tonight...melancholy and lackluster, changes are coming soon.  Thank Goodness for that!  I know on another day, I am going to read this blog and see that it is nothing more than drivel...a waste of literary space, but I felt the need to write, for better or for worse.  Maybe someone else will read this and it will benefit them somehow- I doubt it, but I can hope!

I am perfectly imperfect.  I like myself...I love myself.  I am loved by many people.  I cannot live my life in fear of other people's judgements...I just have to be real.  I have a very old friend who I do not speak to anymore but this friend saw things in me and they used to warn me that I needed to be real.  I never saw how right they were until recently.  So I am glad I see it now.  Thanks MW.  You were right about me all along.  Much Love to you wherever you are.

The Power of Intention and Parenting

Could there be a finer combination than Intention and Parenting?  I am a Mother with two children.  My children are 9 and 2years old.  My oldest is a girl and the younger, a boy.  Many of my readers will have similar family situations to this.  I have noticed that most families I know these days have 2 children.  I don't think this is accidental.  I think this is intentional.  There may have been times throughout history when having larger families was necessary or more desirable but these days, having 2 children seems like just the right amount.  Honestly, if I am being very honest, these 2-children households probably thought it was best to add the second child so that their first would not be lonely, and then they thought it best to stop there due to the high cost of raising kids.

Whatever the reason, I happen to have 2 children who I adore.  They are really great kids with big personalities and a lot of depth.  I love these qualities in a child-any child.  when I meet a child who has personality and depth, I know that there is good parenting happening at home.  When I meet a child with wild mood swings and unpredictable behavior or a violent pattern of behavior, than I immediately know there are problems at home.  Everything comes back to the home, you see.  Many people may not like that I say this because it is easy to question it, but let's examine the facts.  Our personal qualities are a combination of heredity and experience.  We are born with some genetic connections to the people from whom we were created but then we develop tendencies, habits and abilities as a result of our learned responses and from our environment.  This is why a person who lives in a cold climate will adapt to the conditions of their surroundings and a person from a sunny and dry environment will have darker skin to protect themselves. 

In addition to having children, I also work with children on a daily basis in my home as a Home Daycare Provider.  It is rewarding work.  Over the years I have had many types of children and families come to me for care.  I have witnessed and experienced every type of situation out there.  I have had Adopted children, bi-racial familes, Foster-Care children, Children with ADD or ADHD and also those on the Autism spectrum.  I have had babies, toddlers, preschoolers and school-aged children here in my home.  I have had boys and girls in many combinations of age.  There is consistency in the observation about environments affecting development.  The ones that excel and the ones who cooperate the best, are always the children who receive the proper blending of discipline and nurturing at home.  They show consideration for others, personal determination to achieve their goals and positivity in building relationships.

The point I wish to make about Parenting being Intentional is that as parents it is our duty to be the best we can at it.  Not one of us can be perfect at it all the time and certainly our styles will vary.  Likewise our children will have difficult period of development where they require a bit of extra guidance or patience until certain attitudes or behaviors pass or mature or just improve.  As a Mother, I intend for my children to achieve milestones in their development.  I intend it by thinking it, believeing it and then acting upon it.  For example, when it was time for my daughter to learn to read, we followed these steps.  First we had to be aware that she had reached this stage in her development where it was necessary for her to become a reader.  Next, we put our faith in her ability to become a reader and lastly, we went to the library and bookstore to get age-appropriate reading.  Of course, additional steps are needed until the end result is achieved.  For instance, we needed to read everyday with her and show her how to pronounce words and blended letter sounds.  We cultivated excitement in her to read new things and even acted-out the stories.  In other words, Intending to do something only works when you see it through.

I read somewhere not too long ago, that the human brain develops all things by habit.  This is why we must discipline and correct and guide and redirect our children along the way.  And we must do it diligently, everyday.  We lose speed if we allow things to go without correction for too long.  We allow the brain to settle into a pattern and it becomes habitual very quickly.  It takes only three weeks to establish any habit (according to Dale Carnegie, the author of  7 Habits of Highly Effective People).  So as we start any new lesson, we should assume it will take time to form the habit and it will take time to get to the point where a child understands that they must follow-through.  Each day, with my children, I intend to teach.  This is also true of the children who come to me for daycare...I intend to teach all of them.  I am not always sure what I will be teaching, but I pay close attention to the trends that sprout up as the children are playing, talking and interacting or even as they are disobeying or behaving badly.  Within each interaction are clues about what direction to go in.

I truly Love what I do with children and I have loved doing it for many years now.  As I see the results unfold into adulthood...yes, I am old enough to have seen this...I can see the strengths and weaknesses I have in my ability to teach or direct.  As I become aware of these, I adjust them to improve myself.  I am nothing, if not improved.  I am grateful for each child who has formed in me a desire to give and love and reach higher!  I hope and pray that I have also done that for them! 



Me with Annika in my Toddler classroom at WonderKids.



A few of my Favorite Things

You know that song, right?  Raindrops on roses and wiskers on kittens?  Well I LOVE things...not for their dollar value but for their intrinsic value.  I have been just dying to work that word into a Blog (intrinsic)!  Anyway, allow me to elaborate...or more accurately, indulge me while I take the liberty of elaborating.  As I sit here sipping my afternoon java, I am making a mental list of the things I am happy that I have in my life.  I guess you could say I feel quite grateful.  And this type of gratitude ought to be multiplied.  So here are some things I am grateful for:
http://www.avonleaweddings.com/
http://www.thesecret.com/
http://www.facebook.com/
http://www.live.com/
http://www.twitter.com/
http://www.blogspot.com/

ok, enough links...there is more.  I Love LOVE...and I adore my children.  I love my work with other people's children.  I love Chocolate and Bread and French Fries and Vegetables all crisp from the garden.  I love fresh herbs-especially the smell of them wafting through the springtime air.  I love Farms and Grass.  I love horses in a field.  I love Cows all huddled together chewing and mooing.  Sadly I also Love hamburgers and steak. I Love coffee.   But I digress...I love sweaters and blankets- especially knitted ones and patchwork ones.  I love old wooden chests and desks and cabinetry.  I love wood floors- and I mean the old ones, not the polished and perfect hardwoods but the ones that give you splinters.  I even love the splinters.  I love TREES...for climbing and sitting under and just to see them standing there in all their glory.  These are a few of my favorite things.

I also love technology and computers and phones and cars with sync!  I love gadgets and curious bits of wisdom handed down from generation to generation.  I love the old things you cannot find anymore..and I especially love finding them!  How lucky I feel when I discover any object from yesteryear or better yet, from my own childhood!  I love memories...I love that I CAN remember...what a gift!  I love that all the things I have done in my lifetime can always be a part of who I am.  I love my resume and my years in college and every sucky job I ever had because it made me better at whatever I do now!  I love every person who has ever tried to lower my perception of myself...you are my daily laughter now...and I pray for you.  I love the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Anthony Kedis.  I Love Chester See, Adrian R;Mante, Giovanni Samuels and Sandra Winebarger.  I love photography!  What an art form!  I love colors but I also love Black and White.  I Love MUSIC!  I love the Opera and the Ballet.  I love Golf!

What makes me feel thrilled?  Synchronicity gives me a thrill!  when everything just falls into place the way you have seen it in your mind's eye.  I love a dream fullfilled and a dream still being built.  I love houses...especially big old farm houses with unusual traffic flow....I Love homes.  I love other people's homes, with their unique stuff.  I Love their lives, their families and the way they line up their boots near the door.  I Love umbrellas and ballet shoes.  I Love French Horns.  I love the sound of my daughter's voice and the smell of my son's hair after a bath.  I love their tears, their giggles and their smiles.  I Love my Sweety.  I Love mail.  I love stamps and letters and stationary.  I love to spritz my stationary with lavender or other fragrances.  I love the color green.  I feel a thrill when I remember the past and a thrill when I look to the future.  I embrace all...for all is love.

I Love Walt Disney World!  i love vacations- especially road trips.  I Love to learn about american History.  I Love a good movie and I REALLY LOVE a Good Book!  I love that one day I will write a really good book and other people will love me.  I Love that people already do love me.  As I stated at first...I Love LOVE.  ~Namaste~

Our ToonTown Memories

I have to write about a very special place that I LOVED and is about to enter the annals of history.  I am talking about Magic Kingdom's ToonTown..home of Mickey's and Minnie's Country homes and Donald's Leaky boat!  I have so many fond memories here of my children enjoying the attractions and the playground.  Everytime we visited Magic Kingdom we would always start at ToonTown by grabbing the Magic Kingdom Railway and going there first!

This is Mickey's Country Home (above) and Minnie's (below)...In the early morning

The adorably oversized Icons of furniture and decor within were enchanting and nostalgic for us on each visit.  When you tour the house it is like a museum full of colorful dreamy cartoon magic!  I especially loved Mickey's house in the backyard where he has Pluto's Doghouse and his garden.  In Mickey's garden there are a mix of Real and Make-Believe vegetables growing.  It's fun to end with a pass through his garage where he has a few projects he is working on.   Ahhhhhh....memories!



Me and the kids in Minnie's Gazebo 2009



Annika looking distinguished on her birthday in Minnie's Garden-Room



Me and Annika in Minnie's kitchen on a less-crowded visit in 2005.

I love my photos from our trip and I have several clips of video footage of the children playing in the playground at ToonTown and in Donald's Boat.  These clips were from our December 2009 trip.  Annika was 9 and Lex was 18 months.  Honestly, we love ToonTown!  We never waited in line to meet any characters at the Judges tent but we enjoyed our time playing, riding the Barnstormer and strolling the House and Boat. Donald's Boat of course was a Water Park too!  Here are some video clips for you to enjoy!

Below are some WONDERFUL photos that I found on a website called "Orlando Attractions" and they really capture what I loved most about this part of Magic Kingdom.  I am including them here for you to enjoy as well...



Barnstormer



Last Look on closing night....

It IS very hard to say goodbye...to a place and to it's magic.  I am thankful that I got to experience this and bring my children along too.  We were lucky to have such great times and also to have the vidoes and pictures to keep those memories alive.  I can't wait to see what's next!

Continued reflection

One of my favorite new Bloggers/Inspirational People is a man I discovered on the internet who shares my faith and general outlook on life.  He is Steve Pavlina.  Steve blogged about the Law of Attraction and Manifestation and it was one of my favorite blogs to date.  In the body of the writing he addresses an issue that I have considered at great length during my meditations and this is the inevitable quiet period of what feels like inactivity or lack.  He calls it the "Lull".  That is fitting!  The lull can make a strong woman weary!  Imagine those who are just starting up in their journey?  Well, in a way I AM just a beginner too.  My LoA journey began August 20th 2010 on my 36th birthday!  I am glad it all began on my birthday much the way my physical life bagan on this day.

I am thankful that Steve addressed this issue in the Blog I read of his, because it reinforced what I already believed to be true which is that perseverance in holding to our ideal and to our vision is where the real magic lies.  In the Bible it would be written this way:

Having faith (or hoping for) in what we do not see.

I Love this concept...this idea...this FACT as it were.  I love faith...I love the act of having faith.  I love the POWER that lies dormant in faith.  This is the place where real magic comes to life.  I believe in miracles!  I know they have happened...DO happen and will happen anytime and anywhere for any person who asks and believes.  All things that happen have their purpose and the person who has drawn the thing to them has intended it for themselves.  This is true whether it is a "good" or "bad" occurance and in the case where it has a tragic story, it most likely has occurred as a lack of understanding about the LoA.  It is sad and unfortunate but this is the Law of the Universe and we must live with it.  I suggest the following Website be added to your daily life.  You will find it enriching:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/

So as this extreme rain pounds fiercely outside, I am glad and even a little happy.  I have this warm sensation tempered with a slight exhileration because I know that people are talking...there is a buzz.  That buzz has my name in it and my daughter's name in it.  She is an aspiring actress, in case you are not a regular reader of my blog.  I know that we have planted the right kind of seed on the right soil and that we are building relationships in the right way.  I know that our ATTITUDE shines brightly in this world.  I am confident that people are impacted by our LOVE and our enthusiasm.  It will produce beautiful things when its time has come and when it does, whatever it becomes, it will be long-lasting!  If you are curious about my daughter and her Career and her progress, please follow my other Blog.  Here is the link:

http://www.annikamsalgado.blogspot.com/

Annika at age 6.  She is a dynamo! 

My Inspirational thought for the day:

Believe in miracles!

Wonderful week to Reflect

This is a wonderful week to just reflect on where we have been the last 8 to 10 months.  When I consider what a  short of a span of time it has been, I recognize it has been a very productive and transitive period for me in my life.  I owe all this to the discovery of the "Secret"- the Law of Attraction.  For that I owe thanks to my Best Friend Danielle and for her getting fired from her job at Sears and needing to drive across town before going to the gym.  Had it not been for that and the combined coincidence that she had the book, The Secret" sitting on her passenger-side seat when I got in her car, I may not have gotten to where I am right now!  Does that sound far-fetched to you?  If it does, you may not be aware of what the Law of Attraction is or how it works.

Let me take you back in time and we can reflect together.  I have only been in the knowledge of the Law of Attraction (LoA) for 7 1/2 months.  I was able to read the first 3 chapters of "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne during that extended trip to the gym last August (2010).  I read it aloud to Dan as she was driving and I hung on every word.  Danielle was less convinced but that is a story for another blog.  As it would come to pass, my birthday was around the corner, August 20th.  I hinted to Danielle that my birthday gift could be found at the Bookstore ( a safe bet any year!).  Anyway, on the evening of August 20th, Danielle's gift sat waiting for me and was of course, my very own copy of "The Secret".  That same week I acquired the 2nd book Rhonda Byrne wrote, "The Power".  The two sit on my nightstand beacuse I refer back to their wisdom daily.

At the time that I first learned about the LoA, I was in a dark place.  I was depressed and miserable about the prospects before me.  My job was dull and I felt it was destined to be a dead-end.  My relationship with my children's Dad was pathetic and had been for a very long time.  I was just wallowing in self-pity.  I had begun to make some changes just before the summer and because of this was experiencing a bit of a happy place, but I needed guidance.  the LoA would be all the guidance I needed....I just had not learned about it yet.

From this point forward, I began to thoroughly research the New Thought Movement and other writers whose ideas were consistent with the LoA. I was delighted to discover that one of my favorite Authors was amongst them:  Dale Carnegie.  Another book that sits by my nightstand is Dale Carnegie's book, "Lifetime Plan for Success".  I am proud to say that I have failed in my imitation of these great thinkers time and time again, but with consistent effort and with persistance in training myself, I have been able to utilize many of their proven techniques and I have been quite successful with it!  I have found ways to show Love while asserting my needs and remaining faithful to my goals.

As I forward my thoughts to today and to this week, I realize that I am tempted to feel that I have failed completely with several important goals.  I have clearly gone backwards!  But I refuse to see things this way and instead I will adapt and change my ways to insure that next year, I will be much better off in these areas then I am right now!  Whatever lessons I needed to learn I shall learn!  Whatever habits I need to lose, I shall lose!  Whatever faith I need to acquire, I will make it my own and be better off for it!  And let's too remember that we must always consider the wonderful and the good things that have occurred!  In the past 8 months, I have caused more to happen in my life and in my family's life than has happened in the last 5 years combined.  Some things were already on motion, but the motion that has been created since just the start of 2011 will have far-reaching affects.

                                                                           I LOVE to make my plans...

Monday Love

I thoroughly enjoy Mondays.  Today is a warm spring day and I had a great time with the children!

schadenfreude the crispy garnish that tastes just like its name

Time for ME

It's time to think about what is best for me and just me.  This almost sounds like I have jumped ship from my life and derailed on selfish island, right?  No one should feel confused, I am no different from the person I was yesterday or last week.  I do not plan to make sweeping changes or abruptly alter our course, but I do plan to ask myself with each turn in the road...what do I want?  I need to consider my decisions on the grounds of "are they helping me go in the direction of my dreams or are they holding me back completely? " On the other hand, they could be just holding me back slightly but over time it adds up to a lot.  If I sound like I am babbling, allow me to be clear here- I am at a crossroads once again.  Life is taking me to new heights and urging me to travel to unknown territories that I am eager to explore.  But I know there will be a cost to count...and I wonder how long before I hit a really big wall.  I don't want to be disappointed anymore.  I have spent far too many years in a state of disappointed hopes and I cannot bear to allow it anymore.  If I am afraid to pursue greater goals, I will definitely have failed and so this can never be an option.
I opened my log by saying I was asking myself what was right for me and only me.  There now, I have gone and said it twice!  Well I really mean it and I feel empowered by it, so it bears repeating.  You see, as a child I was often neglected and as a young women I was insecure.  As a new mother I was depressed and now I am enlightened.  So when I review where I have been, I recognize that I am in the greatest spiritual place of my life and so I should capitolize on it by developing my self worth.  there has never been a better time to do it and there never will be.  I have never been more excited about the opportunities around me, or felt more connected to those opportunities.  Many of the new doors opening around me are meant for my kids or my family as a whole and not me personally, but since we are a unit, I take it very personally and it is MY dream and my desire....

Following the guidleines from The Secret, The Power and The Master Key,  I have created Vision Boards and have developed my ability for Creative Visualization and Meditation.  I feel strongly connected with the process and see results.  I observe that there have been definite times when results occurred due to certain types of decisions I was making...more specifically after I made confident and succinct decisions.  It has been almost as though I was rewarded for having mental clarity.  Yes!  That is what I have been feeling...mental clarity!  So my vision board reflects the look of my home and the way I desire to live...closer to nature, in Florida, A Spanish Hacienda-style home.  And aside from the physical attributes of my desires, their is the way we live...earning a living by creative means and investments rather than punching the clock and abiding by the commonly accepted way of earning a living by being a wage-earning drone.  That sounded harsh.  Of course, I do not meant to say that every person who lives this way is unhappy.  In my lifetime it has served a purpose but has run its course.  I know I am not the only drone who wants to jump ship. 

This is my Lincoln Zephyr...they only rolled it out in 2006.  It is waiting for me somewhere out there.

So I have come against a difficult challenge.  With so many ways of analyzing the situation I have begun to feel a little low these last few days.  The irony is that there have been so many wonderful events happening that how could I possibly feel bad or sad?  But leave it to me to find a way!  I feel stress and I am trying to just think happy thoughts and visualize my desires and live the good life, but my demons are after me!  I need to face some difficult truths and still remain positive.  I also have been feeling the pressure to make everything happen, but I lack the financial stature to move forward with gusto!  And so if I were able to overcome the emotional connection to money (the negativity), then perhaps I could turn it around for us.  This is my desire.

So since I am at the most famous intersection ever created...(Disney Studios, Burbank),  I plan to make something happen!  Please wish me luck...

My Little Actress

My daughters cheerfully arrived this afternoon, ready to make their way to Boston-Both looking so beautiful and in great spirits!  I happily created their Itinerary and handed over their maps, ticket information and Headshots along with a bit of food and coffee.  In very few minutes, they were out the door and on their way to the train station. 

Here they are in a photo together from last week...

I am a mixture of excited and nervous as they leave together today.  Partly because I have always been with Annika through every step in her road toward Acting and today I am waiting at home for the results of this trip.  I wonder if I have remembered everything.  Will they know when to get off the train?  Will they be on time?  Will they find the Building ?  Did I send them with everthing they need to represent Annika?  Have I ?  Huh...I sigh at my dining room table listening to the soft lullaby music from the other room. Whatever happens from this point on is up to them.  They will be fine.  In fact...They will be GREAT!

So today Annika is Auditioning for what I believe is some sort of Commercial or Infomercial from the Massachusetts State Division of Travel and Tourism.  The first thing that comes to mind is the Commercials for California with The Governator and famous people talking about the merits of life in Cali.  My guess is if they were putting together a commercial to advertise Massachusetts, they would include shots of kids who looked like locals doing local stuff.  But your guess is as good as mine and we shall know more later.  If Annika is "Called-Back", her Callback date will be next Tuesday and the Shoot dates would be the following week for three days.  This could be a very fun little project for her...SO...Stage Mom side of me is already feeling the pressure of having everything done for her and make sure it is smooth as butter.  For example, she needs a Bank Account!  Then she needs a Coogan Account which is a wonderful SafeGuard for Acting Children...it is a Federal Program that protectss the child's earnings (15%) by reserving it in a Special Savings Account until they are 18 years old. 

Well, my little Princess is on her way.  She creates magic with her smile.  She evokes feelings and emotions from people with her abilities to have conversations that are intriguing and interesting.  I love that about Annika.  There are so many wonderful qualities in her that they far outshine any slight blemish in her personality.  She does have an "over-the-top" kind of energy, which is exactly the perfect type of energy for an Acting Kid.  She is cute and quirky and full of life.  We all love her!  But as I was saying, Managing her...well that is a job!  She has a very busy Social Life these days, which means SO DO I!  I am thankful, THANKFUL, with "Allcaps" for the people who have been a part of her journey and supported us along the way.  Needing people, and allowing people to be a part of this has taught me some valuable life lessons.  It has given me insight into my own motivations and my progress as a person.  It has moved me to tears and has shocked me to the core.  There have been many surprises along this journey which is still ongoing but has only recently begun.
I feel accomplished.  I owe that to my kids, who give me constant exercise for this skillset.  They are my reason for living.  I also must give credit to their Dad, who has been wonderful and supportive of her, and of me.  I must give credit and much LOVE to Daly Salgado for her support and Danielle Christy for sacrificing her time to be my Best Friend!  Much Love to my readers...Much more to come soon!

My Brother's Wish

Some of you reading this knew my brother John.  Some only know that I HAD a brother who, sadly, is no longer with us.  You see, My little brother, LCPL John J. VanGyzen of the Marine Corp, 3rd Battalion 7th from Camp Pendelton, California, was killed in Iraq in 2004.  He was 21 years old.

John was a sweet kid.  He had 4 older sisters to grow up with out in the Boonies of Rhode Island.  We were farm kids.  We didn't have frills and we had each other.  That was how life was.  When I think back on it now, that was an easier time to grow up.  My brother John and I and our sisters, Jessica and Bethany, were ALWAYS outside playing.  We had grand adventures and we played for hours.  We had plenty of chores too...more than most kids we knew.  But this was how life was for us, and it made us close to one another.  I am 9 years older than John.

As we got older and started to have children, John became the Beloved and Adoring Uncle.  Pictured here is my brother with my nephew Dylan.  It was Dyl that gave John his nickname:  Uncle Buddy.

Bethany had this tee shirt made for him as a High School graduation gift.
John's gift to us at the day of his graduation was the announcement that would change our lives forever.  John had enlisted in the Marine Corp.  He would head to boot camp after the summer.

John was a handsome Marine.  He had warm heart.  He eventually served 2 tours in Iraq, received a Purple Heart and was honorably discharged upon his death, July 5th 2004.  During the time John was stationed in California, he got married.  His daughter Cailin was born 2 months after he passed away.  She will be 7 this year.  She is a beautiful child who has John's eyes and his somber countenance.

This is a photo of Cailin with her Mom, Amanda VanGyzen. 

At the risk of sounding insane, I will tell you that I receive messages from my brother.  It's not a psychic vision or an apparition, but messages that assure me that John wants his wishes to be remembered.  Not very long ago, I met with an actual Medium who did say John had a specific message for me.  He wanted me to make sure our family stayed close.  I didn't really understand what I was being asked to do, but I assumed this meant the 2 sides of our family:  Mom's side and Dad's side.  It is so typical for me to think of John as a boy and his parents as "his family".  But John wasn't a boy and when he passed away he left behind a family.  He left behind Amanda and Cailin.

I am happy to say that this week I received the message loud and clear.  It made perfect sense to me.  This month, Cailin and her mom will travel here to visit and we will be given the opportunity to "keep the family close" as we were urged to do...by our John, by our Uncle Buddy, by Daddy, Husband and Brother.

Rest in Peace baby Brother.  Today I suffer for you.  Today I feel the pain of your death like I did when it happened.  After 7 years you would expect it to hurt less...but somehow it hurts more.  I love you.  I hope I can make YOU proud of me, the way I am proud of the man you became.

Ange

My addiction to Reality TV

Ok.  To be fair, I am not exactly addicted to Reality tv as much as I am fascinated by it and looking forward to certain nights and times to plop in front of my tv and be undisturbed.  But I have always loved The Donald's big hit, The Apprentice.  When they came out with The Celebrity Apprentice it was easier than ever to get my husband to put the remote control down and sit with me.  So we agree on this:  The Apprentice is a great show! 

Here is the current line-up of Talented and somewhat off-beat Collaborators of Donald Trump!

It would not be reality tv if there were not some Mega-Talent and some scary quirky weirdos.  Sorry, I dislike name-calling but I just have to call it like I see it on this one!  I mean, on the one hand you've got Latoya Jackson and Dionne Warwick who are legends in the world of Celebrity.  They are teamed-up alongside of or against more modern-day stars and then some Icons of insanity!  I try not to judge until I have watched at least 5 episodes.  you see, last season when I saw Bret Michaels was playing...well...although I am a Hair-Band relic myself, I was wondering what Donald Trump was thinking bringing him on board.  I did not expect him to last.  BUT, after a few episodes I began to notice his ingenuity and his determination.  Also, under that "never give up" spirit, there was humility.  Needless to say, I became a fan that season...a fan of Bret Michaels.  I hunted down the Snapple Iced Tea he created on one of his challenges and I cried and prayed when he had his brain hemmorage.  That season increased my humanity simply by reintroducing me to someone I thought I knew.  I didnt know him...but NOW I think I do.

Anyway, I did not mean to go in that direction...I did not mean to go on and on about my LOVE for Bret Michaels and how he has inspired me to be stronger!  I meant to rave about my favorite Celebrity Apprentice from this current season.  This person epitomizes strength and grace and just has every good quality a person should have!  She is the incomparable Marley Matlin.  I simply Love her!

I Love strong women!  Marley has a way of placing her words and ideas in the exactly perfect manner to achieve the best outcome...not just for her own purposes but for the good of many.  This quality exists in real Leaders.  I have no doubt that Marley will come out as the winner this season.  On last night's episode, Richard Hatch (RI native!!  My Home State!)...sorry Richard, did not stand a chance once she set her mind on persuading Donald Trump to eliminate him.  Richard failed to seize his opportunity to defend his accusers and explain why he failed to raise money during a Charity fundraiser.  Any other person when faced with the offer The Donald gave Marley would have probably gone the way of peace and allowed the Don not to fire one of the guys.  But Marley was not cutthroat.  She just placed the simple query...what makes today any different from last week?  We all have a job to do.  I Love it!  I Love her!  And she will win.