Some of you reading this knew my brother John. Some only know that I HAD a brother who, sadly, is no longer with us. You see, My little brother, LCPL John J. VanGyzen of the Marine Corp, 3rd Battalion 7th from Camp Pendelton, California, was killed in Iraq in 2004. He was 21 years old.
John was a sweet kid. He had 4 older sisters to grow up with out in the Boonies of Rhode Island. We were farm kids. We didn't have frills and we had each other. That was how life was. When I think back on it now, that was an easier time to grow up. My brother John and I and our sisters, Jessica and Bethany, were ALWAYS outside playing. We had grand adventures and we played for hours. We had plenty of chores too...more than most kids we knew. But this was how life was for us, and it made us close to one another. I am 9 years older than John.
As we got older and started to have children, John became the Beloved and Adoring Uncle. Pictured here is my brother with my nephew Dylan. It was Dyl that gave John his nickname: Uncle Buddy.
Bethany had this tee shirt made for him as a High School graduation gift.
John's gift to us at the day of his graduation was the announcement that would change our lives forever. John had enlisted in the Marine Corp. He would head to boot camp after the summer.
John was a handsome Marine. He had warm heart. He eventually served 2 tours in Iraq, received a Purple Heart and was honorably discharged upon his death, July 5th 2004. During the time John was stationed in California, he got married. His daughter Cailin was born 2 months after he passed away. She will be 7 this year. She is a beautiful child who has John's eyes and his somber countenance.
This is a photo of Cailin with her Mom, Amanda VanGyzen.
At the risk of sounding insane, I will tell you that I receive messages from my brother. It's not a psychic vision or an apparition, but messages that assure me that John wants his wishes to be remembered. Not very long ago, I met with an actual Medium who did say John had a specific message for me. He wanted me to make sure our family stayed close. I didn't really understand what I was being asked to do, but I assumed this meant the 2 sides of our family: Mom's side and Dad's side. It is so typical for me to think of John as a boy and his parents as "his family". But John wasn't a boy and when he passed away he left behind a family. He left behind Amanda and Cailin.
I am happy to say that this week I received the message loud and clear. It made perfect sense to me. This month, Cailin and her mom will travel here to visit and we will be given the opportunity to "keep the family close" as we were urged to do...by our John, by our Uncle Buddy, by Daddy, Husband and Brother.
Rest in Peace baby Brother. Today I suffer for you. Today I feel the pain of your death like I did when it happened. After 7 years you would expect it to hurt less...but somehow it hurts more. I love you. I hope I can make YOU proud of me, the way I am proud of the man you became.
Ange
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