How to MANAGE your Love-Hate relationship

Everyone under the sun has had one.  One of those relationships with a person that is in your life that you love but at moments or during long spans of moments you really truly hate them.  For some people, perhaps there is more than just one in your life who fits this category.  If you feel you may have someone in your life like this, perhaps this article will help you on your path to understanding and cooperation.  Let's face facts, this person is most likely a child, parent or spouse.  If so, that means you are dealing with a person who "for better or worse" is more of a fixture in your life and those can be difficult to remove.  Thus the topic header:  How to Manage them. You will need to manage them...by taking control...by taking personal responsibility and by working on YOU.

You are always the center of anything in your life.  First things first, you must come to see how things are not about them or about him or about her....they are always just about YOU.  Yay!  You get to be a little selfish here.  But it's for the best, I absolutely promise you that!  You get to think of good ole number one!  In fact, as you stand there in the heat of yet another pointless moment of frustration with said "pain in the ass" right there in front of you, let your mind just drift way off into the sunset...arrive at your poolside chair by the ocean and feel the Coastal breeze all warm and exotic caressing your perfect body.  Because life is what you think about.  Your life is brought to you by the thoughts and feelings that govern it.  Let those people piss you off and you have signed the contract to your miserable life.  Take a jump!  A Quantum jump, if you will.  Transport yourself to your alternate universe...the one you can choose.  The one that is far far away from this annoying moment when the Love-Hater is abusing you.

For the record, this may be the quickest solution to verbal abuse.  The old "sticks and stones" has lived its day.  Lets just ignore bad behavior.  As Napoleon Hill said in his famous literature, "Think and Grow Rich"...you MUST keep out all negativity.  That includes everyone's negative feedback and reprisals upon you. Retain and listen to only what is good for you...only what will cause you to become better.  And another point here...YOU and only YOU really truly know what is best for you.  If you listen to that inner voice inside you, it knows.  Read, meditate, exercise and eat healthy.  These four things will carve out the path for you and they alone in combination will ATTRACT all the teachers, words, books, communities, jobs, friends and ideas that you need for the RIGHT kind of life.

So to recap, the "How to" comes down to one very simple rule.  If this person is bothering you, ignore them.  If they persist, show them the truth:  Hold the mirror up.  Use words, actions, descriptions and imagery to recreate the behavior they are using so that they can experience it.  If this does not get the point through, then revert to your first tool.  If this cannot solve it then this person is simply toxic.  It has been my personal experience with a certain Love-Hater in my life that there are moments when he honestly sees himself.  I know he does get it about who he is and how he is acting.  the trouble with my Love-Hater is that he does not love himself enough to change and commit to that change so that he can really grow and evolve into that better part of himself.  And worse...he is living a lie in his own mind. 
I catch glimpses of it (his goodness) from time to time...I can see his great moments.  Right now I am working on finding ways to sincerely praise him when he has these breakthroughs.  It's hard, because I keep holding him to MY ideal for him instead of accepting him for where he is at presently.  That is what I really need to do..accept him for where he is and what he wants to be right now.  And this is all anyone can do...because we cannot change THEM.  We can only change ourselves.

Now on a special note, if you are partnered with this person, you may feel this is holding your life back.  You must find a way to overcome that feeling.  If you do not overcome that feeling then that negative thought that YOU are responsible for, WILL sabotage all the other growth you are striving towards.  Think of YOU and what YOU need to change and what YOU dream to accomplish and who YOU will seek to encourage.  Put YOU first and all else will filter into its proper position in the cosmos.

~Namaste dear friends, namaste