a profile of abuse

Abuse is defined as:

·buse (-byz)

tr.v. a·bused, a·bus·ing, a·bus·es

1. To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: abuse alcohol; abuse a privilege.

2. To hurt or injure by maltreatment; ill-use.

3. To force sexual activity on; rape or molest.

4. To assail with contemptuous, coarse, or insulting words; revile.

5. Obsolete To deceive or trick.

n. (-bys)

1. Improper use or handling; misuse: abuse of authority; drug abuse.

2. Physical maltreatment: spousal abuse.

3. Sexual abuse.

4. An unjust or wrongful practice: a government that commits abuses against its citizens.

5. Insulting or coarse language: verbal abuse.

 

 

When something is abused, it is mistreated or used improperly.  When something or someone is abused, they are hurt or injured by maltreatment.  By this definition, there is abuse everywhere.  It is running rampant in our society.  I know that I have abused people and things in the past but have changed my ways and I now strive to improve my life and the lives of others by making careful choices.  How we do things..in the spirit we do them...with clear thoughts and true purpose causes us to go about our lives peacefully and not wastefully or abusively.  If our lifestyle choice negatively affects even one other person on the planet...and we know we are doing this...we must consciously stop and change and care that we improve.  If we do not, we are abusers who victimize.

Some of us...perhaps some of my readers...are being abused.  These people are in a situation (that they attracted to themselves) and they are the victim of maltreatment.  In some cases, they are yelled at alot or ignored...maybe they are not being listened to by people in their lives.  This can sometimes be the case with children and teens but also in marriages or even just in friendships.  No one is perfect, but if a person feels they always give and are treated poorly in return, then they may be the abused party in the relationship.  Abused people are still operating under the Law of Attraction and they must recognize their responsibility in helping themselves out of the negative situation they find themselves in.  If a teen or child...in time, when reaching adulthood, there is an opportunity to get away from the situation.  But in a marriage, this can feel like a life-sentence. 

Verbal and Mental abuse is a very real problem.  Some people are very good at exerting control and manipulating a spouse, friend or even work associate, to the point that the abused person may not even see that they are in this cycle of abuse until they have become so deeply affected that their negative mental state puts them at risk for many self-destructive behaviors.  Some of these can be identified as:  overeating, binge-eating with bulemia or even anorexia; anxiety or depression; suicidal thoughts; alcohol abuse or drug abuse...or any antisocial behavior.  Behavior that is engaged-in for the sake of taking the victim's mind or thoughts off of the pain that they feel and perhaps allowing a brief amount of pleasure or otherwise inflicting pain.  Some people will want to hurt more...while others will want to alleviate the pain.  Either way, these are a side effect of unhealthy relationships stemming from abuse.  This causes an entirely new entity:  Self-Abuse.

Negative Thinking hurts everyone around us..but it especially hurts us most of all.  The idea of holistic wellness is a process for healing and curing this type of illness.  Healing is a part of the process that everyone needs.  We all need to heal and it is an ongoing process.  We all need to eliminate stress and it is an ongoing process.  In everyday of our lives, we need to build-in time to rest and relax and soothe our tensions from these dangerous influences and make sure that we ourselves are not contributing further to the negativity in the world.  Our collective thoughts matter to the progress of the world and its Global Wellness.  Other people can bring their negetivity into our lives and this can lower our vibration and energy and then our productivity.  We need to be mindful of it and take action to change not only our own negative thought patterns, but to avoid being dragged down by those around us.

Wearing a mask will not work.  We cannot cover up who we really are and what we really think because sooner or later, we will let the real face show...it will poke it's head out here and there and people will figure out that we are faking.  when we fake (lie) we help no one...least of all ourselves.  We cannot improve by lying to ourselves or our loved ones.  A lie can deeply scar others and will definitely tear apart the person living the lie.  It will never be able to last.  When the lie disintegrates, what will be left will be painful scars. We cannot hide from others who we really are and so who we are ought to be a face we can show the world.  It's ok to be a little private, but be honest with yourself and others and let them know who they are really dealing with...and hopefully they will show their truth as well.

Finding and keeping true friends is a journey for sure...it is a journey of a lifetime.  How can we be sure when we are identifying them?  How will we avoid the pitfalls of dangerous people or fakers or liars or abusers?  By the way, a liar is an abuser who uses their lie to control you and this can cause pain or loss in your life.  This is misuse of trust and a manipulation of the power they have in your life...a power based on trust.  Trusting someone is a sacred gift.  Abuse of trust is hard to forgive.  Just like it is harder to sway a person's good opinion back after you have lost it.  It is better to not lose it.  A person's reputation...their word...is their honor and their honor is them.  It is everything.  Recovering it can take a lifetime.

People are abused every day.  A customer is abused when they shop in a store and ask for help but get ignorance or disinterest from the clerk.  A child is abused when the parent neglects to supply their basic needs (except in the case of poverty). A spouse is abused when they are made to live in unhappy surroundings by a person who lies and manipulates or hits them.  A teacher may abuse power in the classroom, leaving students to blame themselves and feel inadequate as learners.  There are many, many abuses happening at this level all around us everyday.  So why are the victims staying?  It is their tikun to overcome...their karma or destiny or purpose.  They must recognize their position in the abusive relationship and then analyze and discover the way to regain their self-esteem.  When they truly believe that they neither deserve nor asked to be mistreated, then they can finally find a way out.  It will not be easy, but their karma has placed this situation in their lives and if they can overcome it, then they will have found strength indeed.

How can we avoid becoming victimized?

Anyone who believes they may be vulnerable to abuse or otherwise that they already are in a situation of abuse (there are degrees) can take steps to get help.  First of all...if you are being violently abused and this could result in fatality, you must contact an authority or go to a hospital right away.  Do not be afraid...just go and get help.  If you are one of the many people out there who are experiencing chronic abuse from an unhealthy relationship and feel you can make changes, then here are a few steps I believe can help you:

 

1. Create a space for daily prayer or meditation
2. Spend 5 to 15 minutes per day in your prayer and meditation
3. Exercise daily for at least 15 minutes...a brisk walk or some yoga is fine. 
4. Use breathing to relax you during tense moments
5. Allow your mind to wander when in a stressful situation.  Perhaps reflect upon some peaceful imagery like what you use during mediation?
6. Step back from what you are being told and ask yourself if it is true before believing it.  When we accept words and thoughts, they become a part of us.
7. Drink plenty of water.  If you feel ill, or tired or stressed, reach for a bottle of water and drink the entire thing.

These are just a few ideas to get you started.  In addition to counseling or therapy services, there are alternative types of counseling out there. There are support groups, Internet Chat groups and Forums to help with special problems.  You are not alone...NOT ALONE.  Our fears can make us feel isolated so we must really expand outwardly and surround ourselves with loving people who act kindly toward us.  A kind word...even from a stranger...can really turn someone's day around so remember to pay it forward too!

One last thing.  Above where I stated, "Step back and ask yourself what you are being told"...I want to stress this point a second time.  Ask yourself if what you are being told really resonates with you.  If you are unsure, you may need more time to think about it and that is ok.  Take ALL the time you need.  But make sure that when you have come to the conclusion, it is your own.  Every person creates their own reality and sets their own limitations in life.  Aside from Natural Laws, the only limitations we live with are those we accept to be true.  I hope this helped!

~namaste~